Saturday, November 29, 2008


When I went to Kak Rabitah's room (my housemate with two brilliant daughters) last night, she asked me if I wanted to hear Athirah's story (that's her younger daughter. We call her Adik). I know Adik is very good at writing, she has read me really good poems that she made herself! I think that is so amazing.

So this was what happened.

That night Adik asked her mummy to make up a story for her but her mum said that she is not good at making up stories. Her mummy told her that God has given her the gift of Maths and Science, but when it comes to stories, her brain gets a bit dodgy and she will get stuck. Then Adik was asked if she could make up a story for her mummy, and here was hers (somewhat):

One day there was a flock of birds flapping their wings in the sky. But one bird just flapped his right wing only. His left wing was heavy and he did not want to use it. But one day, his right wing got hurt and it could not make any move. He packed and packed his right wing, trying hard to move it but he still couldn't. The other birds all ask him to "use your left wing, use your left wing" and he refused for a long time but then he could not stand it anymore and flapped his left wing. He found that he could fly higher with his left wing.

Kak Rabitah said she did not get it at first and asked, "so what?".

Adik said "it is about you mama. It is the moral of the story. You should use your literacy part of your brain and you might write wonderful stories with it."

It hit her mummy straight in the heart, and it hits me too, again and again. This is the third time I think I can burst into tears, thinking about Adik's story.

People cannot blame me if I really want at least a child in the future. A nice and clever one like Adik. Or like Adleen. Having just finished my rotation in Obs and Gynae did sometimes make me scared of the pain a woman might need to go through during the childbirth, but on second thought, it scares me more that when I sat in the fertility clinic, I saw a few couples who have been trying to conceive for years, but never been able to get pregnant. And it makes me sad sitting in the gynae clinic to see people coming in, requesting to terminate a pregnancy.

Me, Kak Rabitah, Adik and Adleen

Anyway, that is not what I am trying to get to.

The point is I learn a lot from Adik or Adleen even when they are still so young, being just 7 and 11. And of course I learn from everyONE else around me too. I agree with Kak Rabitah that Adik is so truly magnificent, I can hardly wait to see how she is going to use the gift that Allah has given her. Although on the other hand, I think she grows up too fast and I want her to stay cute as she always is now, but hey, time flies really quick you know. May Allah always guide her to the right path. Who am I to be proud of her, but I always am.

This reminds me of a movie called 'Horton hears a who' - a person is still a person no matter how small they are. Kids can really give great impact on your life, trust me.

I love you, Adik. I love you. I love you.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008


Have you ever had a time when you have so much things to do at the back of your mind that you spent so much time working out what other tasks were ahead of you and which ones should you complete first? You spent time planning, yet, because there were just too many things in your mind, never were you able to complete those tasks.

I have had those moments. And sometimes I ended up updating this blog, and that is what I am currently doing. Hehe. Get to work Iffa!

Oh yes. Just wanting to share this: I am going back to Newcastle for good (before going back to Malaysia for good) this coming Friday! But Obs and Gynae assessment is freaking me out at this very moment.

So should I say this again. Doing things changes things. Not doing things leaves them exactly where they are. So go back to work Iffa! Or go to sleep and get a fresh start tomorrow morning.

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

FW: Etiquettes on E-mail Correspondences to JPA London

To All JPA Sponsored students,

We are now in evolving technological space where technology rules almost every aspect of our lives. Most notable and touching of all is the communication sector and, today, I would like to focus specifically on e-mail correspondences.

Daily, JPA London receives between 30 – 80 e-mails, plus dozens of snail mails. E-mails now are increasingly becoming ‘official’, just as mine now to you. However, we have received many e-mails with many shortcomings, with some lacking its status. If you would like us to read and treat your e-mail with its due respect, you must also present it with the proper protocols.

Although very simple, let us remind ourselves again on the above subject.

A. Title – Please put a title to your e-mail that represents the likely subject matter. With the number of e-mails received daily, we will ignore untitled e-mails for worry of virus, worms, etc.

B. Salutation – Please refer us with kinder words and not just “Hi” or Hi there”. Use prefixes such as Mr / En / Tuan / Puan / Cik / Ms / Miss / Sir or Madam. We DO NOT advocate the use of “abang” or “kakak” for its lack of official ness. If you are writing to private e-mails, then the choice is yours but and are official e-mail addresses. If you are unsure as to the officer-in-charge, just write “Dear Sir / Madam”. Please also refer us by our name as we normally do as Malaysians. Unless you are now a real true blue British to the tee, there is no Mr. Rahman or Ms. Zamani or Ms. Ariff in this office. We don’t have the practice of surnames in our culture. Don’t be rude.

C. Content – Please write in full and clear sentences. You can use either English or BM in your e-mail to us. What we will not tolerate is abbreviated words in e-mails, as what you’d normally use in SMSes. Examples are “r u” or “ x pe” or “b4” or “y ct n g x plaks nk cum 2 c u @ bs“ ori 1 2 c u @ p g da”. We don’t understand these and we will not try to assume to understand it also. We will totally ignore, from now, e-mails written in such. So, please make sure you write clearly what you want us to read.

D. Signing-off – It doesn’t hurt a bit to say “Thank you” before you sign off. That’s good mannerism, which we believe you have been taught by your school / parents. Please give them some justice and honor. For those with family names, please also write your name as you normally write them in Malaysia as your records are written in the same. For example, it’s “Yap Ah Loy” not “Ah Loy, Yap ”. Please also write your IC, major and university so that we do not have to cross refer your name every time we receive your e-mail. With your e-mail address with names like “angels”, “death”, “Satan”, “handsome”, “baby”, etc, we need everyone to sign-off with their recognizable name.

PLEASE TAKE NOTE that we will forthwith put on low priority or will totally ignore e-mails that do not conform to the above minimum etiquette.

Thank you.

Kind regards,

Adib Rahman

JPA London

Sunday, November 09, 2008

FP 2009: Application deadline has passed

Please note that the deadline for submitting applications for FP 2009 has now passed.

You did not submit an application and therefore will not be considered for a foundation training place in the national recruitment round.


The UK Foundation Programme Office

I was happy not to apply for F1 job in the UK until I read this email. I have to say there was a rush of weird feeling inside me as I read through this short email. It feels like being rejected. But who cares.... I was the one who made that call. I finally made my decision. And I still am happy with that, honestly.

Yes, finally that was done. Thanks to everyone who discussed with me their thought during the process.

Start packing. I am going back, yeay!

Monday, November 03, 2008


Ok. So I still have not come up with proper answers for my foundation application. Instead I am concentrating on deciding whether I really want to work here if I get the place, in which case, I will - if I apply. But why bother answering those sickening questions if I really want to go back now. It is just being paranoid of the regret I might get later (if I dont apply at all) that makes me struggle with the questions. But, will it not be counted as an effort to fill up the form at least? Another example of the THIN lines in my life. Eeeeeee geramnye.


I got three pairs of new baju kurung (baju raya) from my mom in summer.
She said "takpelah banyok2 pon, next year nok buat sahhang (pakai) pergi keje kan".
A hint that she wanting me to work in Malaysia.

Papa asked me to buy a car for him and bring it back next year.
And I said "doh tu kalu pah keje sane guane? mestila pah nok gune kereta".
And he exchanged that look with my mom. Mama smiled. Hehehehe naughty me.
But again, he was expecting me to go back.

But after a long argument of the reasons why I will stay for a while, if I want to stay (which I was still 50-50 at that time), they seem to not have any preference.

When I told my younger brother who is now studying accounting in Warwick that I will put Coventry and warwick deanery as my first choice for the application, he said:
"Bagusla. Senang nanti kalu aku takdok duit"
Hehe, ade ke. That is definitely not the reason I want to go closer to you. Hahah, too bad.

I asked this matter to my sister who is studying A level in UCSI, looking forward to further her study in Pharmacy in the UK in the next 2 years. She said "keje la kat UK, tunggu aku gi sane". Haha, semua orang pon die nak suh duk ngan dia. Anak bongsu!

I chatted with my bro this afternoon.
iffa: bile mung nok gi umoh abg
iffa: bowok la web cam
iffa: rindu la ke mia
we: dok tau lg
we: eheh
we: td die pandai doh duk main wak lolok tgh mekap
we: pahtu die kate die comel
iffa: amboi
iffa: hahahaha
iffa: mia omel
we: klako la'
iffa: hih nih nok blk msia ni
iffa: oo baru ignat
iffa: nok tanye mung rse
iffa: baik aku kije sini dulu ke
iffa: balik kije msia terus
we: hurmm
we: aku dok reti ngat mende gini
we: huhu
we: opinion aku la
we: molek doh kalu mung balik pon
we: tp mung mitok spital trg la
we: buleh teman mama nga papa dumoh
we: heheh there's a reason. And Damia is another.

That was family.

I just knew a friend who changed his mind to go back when he was the one person was really firm about wanting to work here.


I just rang my brother in Warwick, as I think the only reason I will want to stay here is him. I am sure he will be fine here, it is not like I have to babysit him. I never did in fact. The way I talked to him just now really sounded like I want to go home, for sure. I just wanted him to acknowledge me not applying at all. "takpe eh kalu aku dok isi borang?". "aku nok wat guane kalu mung dok isi. gitu je la". Eee sedih la plak. Siap suruh kahwin kat UK haha. And he said he is going to force me going back to Malaysia if I later will be reluctant to go back for good.

That is my fear. What if I do not want to come back after all? I know I promise myself to give me only 2 years here, but what if I won't? I am very comfortable with UK system. Everything here is easy. Everyone here is nice. And I can still help with the dakwah here. There are so little chances of not living in wealth here. But is that all that I need? I am sure I will be fine wherever I am going to work. I am sure I will learn a lot working here for the first two years (not practical wise though - Malaysia is definitely better for hands-on experience!). But what if I do not want to come back after all?

Yes, I know it is me who will make the call. It's just that I still need a very valid reason for me to stay here, or otherwise. Please please please. Let it come across my mind.

p/s: Huhuh... Malasnye nak isi borang. In the end, tak apply jugak ni. Sorry to make this a big deal. I am just...thinking.

Saturday, November 01, 2008


S - I found answering the questions for my foundation school application and not yet knowing where I am planning to work right after graduation is really stressing me up. Although I am more inclined of going back to home to start working as a busy house officer at time, who knows it might change. So I decided to fill it up anyway, you know, just in case I change my mind.

T - I have read through the questions and been to the workshop in Carlisle, but I am still struggling with the questions. I have sat in front of this computer a few times, trying to start answering at least one questions, but I haven't answered one properly yet.

A - I felt so stressed that out of no reasons, I am craving for karipap. SoI went out to Morrison's and bought sardine and flour so I can make them, and I also bought a new ice cream - a flavour that will soon be in my next shopping list, insyaAllah.

R - In reflection, I found out eating is a good way to cope with stress. Cooking is a good way too, in addition to my traditional way of coping with stress (some sort of DSH but it doesn't harm me at all). And more importantly to always try, and pray to Allah so that I will keep trying for the best. Convinced that whatever happen next is the best for you and everyone, but try your best, do whatever you have to do at time.

R - And finding out how I cope with stress will definitely help me as a foundation doctor later on, as I anticipate my next two years will be very busy and full of stress. I reckon if I work under stress I will become less a person of who I am, and I will not be a good doctor.

All the best to those applying for foundation school next year!

p/s This is not a good example of answering the question.