Tuesday, February 10, 2015



Once upon a time, there was this beautiful unseen magical world occupied by the similar people doing similar activities - sleep, eat, pray, work, hobbies; the only difference was that these people were granted with magical ability - they were called the wizards. In this wizarding world however, similar to the muggles, they were also prone to getting infections and fell sick, be it due to the black magic or the similar organisms attacking the muggles. These people who fell ill would go to the infirmary to get the relevant potions, hoping they would not succumb.

The infirmaries were all over the world, providing their services twenty-four-seven. There were so many divisions of the infirmary, with wizards within each bureau being very good at what they do, in their own specialised areas. There were of course young wizards who still need coaching in making the right potions; some were very quick at getting them, and some were not. It was like how not everyone can play quidditch, and how the famous Harry Potter was very good at it at once but not the others. The bottom line was that, everyone in the infirmary should strive their best to reduce mortalities and morbidities, and the right schooling and training were imperative to achieve this.

It was never easy and painless to get into the the School of Potions. There were only a few available in the Beauxbatons, so some had to fly to Hogwarts or any other parts of the world to gain the same proficiency of potion. As competitive as it was, only those selected ones got in. It was even more difficult to get back into the School of Advanced Potions after getting some outside experience, to master in specific and precise potions and again, those selected ones must be the clever ones.With the evolving knowledge of magics, each divisions were very focused on their own dexterity, that sometimes, managing wizards or mudbloods was made more difficult than what it used to be, when and where the divisions were not abundant. 

In the School of Potions, the students were told of how crucial to be in a team to heal those ailing ones. Of how everyone should put the ill ones at their best interest. But as time flies, those specialising in black magics were refusing to attend to those wounded by black magic but involved the beating heart, because there were those who were experts in the beating heart - only problem was that they, the latter ones were no experts in black magics. Not only that, when the ailing ones deteriorated later on, those to be blamed were the wizards who first attended to them, as if illnesses were no dynamic conditions. Blaming each other had becoming a trend making synergy and harmony less achievable. Although this was only the attitude of a minute number of wizards, but it was highly infectious because everyone must have had their own sense of belonging.

Oh, how beautiful it was if what was being told in the School of Potions before were being practised. Of how the crux of the matter could be tackled with teamwork. Of not only how important the right schooling and coaching were, but also how crucial the esprit de corps was. Maybe it was an upsetting beautiful wizarding world after all, nothing much to be proud of over the world of muggles.

Monday, January 19, 2015


The advice is so useful, after all these while. It has been more than two years.

I guess time does allow some changes, in terms of how the memories fade bit by bit although not all of them. But time really have not healed anything. At all. When the memories come again, when there are triggers to it, crying is the only thing I am capable of. It hurt. And it still hurts. It hurts the most knowing that trying to get to know someone else leads you to miss that one person who has already left, and reminds you of how hurt you were and how defensive you should be, and how you should never trust anyone, anymore. No matter how much you want to.

 I know this needs to stop. The question is how and when.

Sunday, November 17, 2013


Assalamualaikum and good day to all,

I assume people who read this inactive blog of mine are probably those who do not know me that much or do not even know me at all since I have changed the website address for some stupid reasons. 

A lot has happened in my life and today I got this hunch I am hoping a good one, to have an entry posted in my blog, and for whatever reason, He The Almighty has brought me to read my previous entry  which reminds me of how (probably) innocent I was, and how my life before was full of purpose, and how I was very convinced that everything is preordained and happen as it should. For a moment, I realised my purpose of life has probably changed for the past one or two years, and I pray that Allah will never leave me alone without anything to hold on to.

I also realise that probably blogging is the best way to let go all of my sadness so I can move on, and writing up is probably my way of coping up with things and make me a better person. Despite the depressive one year I have gone through (which I will probably tell later to let go all of these unnecessary and wasteful thought); despite the consistent crying in the morning and before going to bed which has been reducing although the eyes have never been deprived of tears; despite the persistent denial and strong hope that things would go back to normal after all the sufferings - I am very lucky, I honestly think I have a very good insight of what is going on, only that I am still in denial and am consciously trying to live my own life NOT being me. Everything has changed. And today, I want to go back to be me that I miss. 

Why suffer for such stupid reason when you know He is always by your side, all these while, all the time??? 

I have wasted one year in which that last one month within it was fulfilled with this incredible feeling full of hope and love. Then  I wasted another one year crying over it, denying, being such a stupid person who rejected every new opportunities and every what is supposed to be enjoyable moment with my family because of one guy I should have not trusted in the first place.

I am moving on. Today. No more procrastination and pampering myself with unrealistic hope and wish. I still have a purpose of life, of course. And hope is always there because He has never left me alone. Wish me the best!

Monday, June 03, 2013


This is one motivational video I need to replay many times to keep me going. Replaying because the motivation just doesnt last very long, how weak I am.

It is already June 2013. Things have gone wild and unexpected. Remembering how life was planned ahead last year, today witnesses how very broken my heart still is. Despite knowing and having all the very good insight about how this is only His test, I still chose to dwell my past. I am fully aware that it is not something I should do, but when it comes to feelings, you just feel helpless and hopeless. Whoever is reading this, please pray for my strength, because a sincere untold prayer plays a role... I really need the strength and I do not seriously want to succumb to all this sadness, it is killing me, and I am no more myself!!! Verily, we can plan, but He is the Greatest Planner of all, may all go back to normal, in fact better than before.

*I hope the next time I read this post again, I will have already realised how stupid I am now for dwelling on what I shouldn't have.