Sunday, May 27, 2007


I had never realised a career that I have chosen would involve mainly decision making, until a few months ago. I always find making decision a hard thing to do. Not that I think about consequences all the time before I react to something, but most of the time, I do. And I never like to be one who decides. It probably just emphasises on how coward I am, afraid to take the responsibility to whatever decision I make.

Decision making is more like an adut thingy. Considering myself as still a child (haha sangke), I do not mind to not much being involved in the process itself. Even so, I do make decisions everday, do I? I decide when to set the alarm on the phone, yet next morning, I decide when actually do I want to wake up. I decide whether I want to have simple breakfast or a heavy one or none at all. I decide where am I going to sit in the metro going to the hospital. I decide whether or not to complete the sudoku on the way, or should I read something for the seminar. I decide where am I going to sit in the seminar. I decide whether I should spend money on the lovely scone in the cafe for 10 minutes break. Well, that is to name few of it. But most of these are decisions done unconsciously. I suppose when it comes to emotion and rationale, it is very very different. (come on, grow up Ifaa!)

But, it is not a bad thing at all is it? When you find something is hard enough for you, that you would need someone to help and support you, that is what makes you closer to Allah. Because He will always be there for us. And remember that Allah knows best.

(although still, I do not understand how can one be so sure about decisions s/he is making? if I do not believe that everything happens for a reason coz Allah knows best, then I do not know where would I have been now)

Thank you Allah for this beauty of surrendering myself to You.