Saturday, August 19, 2006


Travel back time
I haven't got any blog
Wonder how exactly did I end up with one

Here I am
My fingers are dancing on the keyboard
If not to remind myself
Probably to share with others
Or just to say out loud my thoughts
Perhaps to practise my poor English and my writing skills
Most likely all of them in one
Exactly like what I'm doing right now

Just when the summer holiday started
I was looking all over the town
As best as I could
For a summer work
Cheers Kak Akma, for keeping me company
Unfortunately I couldn't find any
So I volunteered at a charity shop
Nice experience I have to say
Anyway I somehow miss operating the till there
Although I might be awarded
The clumsiest cashier ever

The summer holiday has almost finished
Even the summer has already gone
No more sun so no more sunburn
Feels more like winter already but I'm fine with it
And I am a working lady, straining my eyes in front of the computer
Coping well to read the doctor's handwritings
Some are fine even very good indeed
But some look more like ECG readings to me
And those sometimes gave me headache
The first week I was so excited to get the job
But this week I sometimes glanced surreptitiously at the watch
Thinking when 5 o'clock is gonna come
But it doesn't matter if I go back early, really
Coz the pay is based per hour work
As long as I do not cheat or misuse the time
It should be fine
Only I worry if I summarise the notes far too slow
But again, it does took some time to figure out the ECG handwritings
Thanks to all staff for being helpful and well approachable

If you ask me
I'd prefer my student life I guess
Give me ten years doing medicine and I wouldn't mind
Well, except if I don't get my own allowance
That's a totally different situation

Two years ago
I started my first year studying medicine
Was quivered with fear and excitement when I first arrived here
Hoping to do my very best
Having been given a chance to come here
Despite thinking I was not good enough to even apply of coming here

I am less than two weeks away
From my third clinical year which promises us no lectures (I suppose)
But have never did my best, not even tried
Only to regret it later in life
Lucky I still pass the year
And thanks to all my friends whom without them I wouldn't have done it
(by Allah's will of course)

Long time ago
I once was being tested
Thought that was the biggest problem I had ever faced
And there was hardly anyone I could consult to
And only now I realise that I was given a chance
To consult Him alone
Coz He always listens and He is The All-Knowing
And I was given an incredible strength
Never felt stronger than I used to

I wonder where has the strength gone
I wonder why the prayers hasn't been the same
With all the good things that are happening
I should have been more grateful
But people seldomly see good things as tests
And tests from Him too, I am sure they are

Once I learned from a friend
Trouble definitely means a test
And most of the time people seek for help
But to have achieved your targets and desires
Those are also tests from Him
And to think that you aren't being tested at all
Is the invisible test
The latters are more dangerous
Coz people do not see them coming
And people tend to forget
when they are in great wealth
or when they are not in need of help

Three weeks ago
The newspaper were filled up with Israelis attacks on Lebanon
A big column was spared for three pictures of British soldiers
Who were killed in the attack
Yet a picture of a mother carrying her small innocent son
Who died in the horrible massacre
It was just a subset of a bigger photograph of troops
Probably one twelfth of it

A week ago
The weather forecast which has always been in the third page
Was moved to page eleven
Coz more important news of the terror plan has striken the Great Britain
And the news on the massacre in middle east became inconspicuous
I wonder how do people define t.e.r.r.o.r.i.s.m
And to be affected in some ways is inevitable in here
Emotionally if not physically
Only then I again realised
How powerful and couraging
The prayer bismillahitawakkaltu'alallah is
It's amazing yet scary
If this thing happened
Only to remind me of the powerful prayer
Coz shame on me
I hadn't bear that in mind
For quite a long time

Let us pray for the innocents
No matter from what background they are
Keeping in mind that
To be just is to put things the way they are supposed to
Not to protect our own best of interests

Just now
I was just thinking of updating my blog
I even thought of doing so days ago
Shame on me again I didn't
Some people say it's not good to postpone a plan
But I have my own priorities other than blogging
(I bet to sleep well is considered one of them too?)

And right now
I think that's all I have to say for now
So good night and have a good day tomorrow
Coz in Islam there is no such thing as new year's eve
Or resolution at the beginning of a new year
Indeed every single day should be celebrated
First by being thankful to be awake again
After being half dead when we sleep