HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAMA!!!

Today is mama's birthday. I am sure things are changing a lot for her, particularly in the future. To name a couple; she is expecting her first grandson; and my sister has just finished her SPM so she is not going to be living at home during her term time anymore once she gets into college, so mama will be left with papa, it is all going back to where it started. All her children are walking towards having their own lives, believe it or not. Ouh, and one more thing, she is retiring soon.

Time flies really fast. Sooner or later the family cycle will go on and on with time and it is a vicious cycle that will last forever as long as human being agrees that one of the purpose of life is for the progeny. If they do not reproduce, they know they will eventually die, every living creature does.

I remember an informal discussion my CIDR group was having when I was in my third year, where they were talking about not wanting to get old and the preference to die in dignity. It seemed being old and becoming a burden to other people are the least things they would hope for, that they had preferred to die if they have the option to choose. Of course, who would like to be old, but I'd personally be afraid of dying more than anything else.

In surah al-Munafiquun, Allah warns us not to forget Him when we are busy with the wealth and our kids. And whoever does so, they will be grouped as the losers. And people will bargain to have their life extended before the death came so that they will have more chance to do good deeds. But again, He warns that our death shall not be postponed, not even for a single second and that He knows what we have all done.

"Tidak akan lepas kedua kaki anak Adam di akhirat di hadapan Allah, kecuali selepas ditanya lima perkara; tentang umurnya di mana ia habiskannya, tentang kepemudaan dan kepemudiannya di mana ia digunakan, dan tentang hartanya dari mana datangnya dan ke mana dibelanjakannya, dan apakah yang dilakukan dengan ilmunya."

[hadith riwayat Tarmizi]

I have to agree that it is scary how quick the time has flies, and that makes me being alive on this earth for 24 years in just after a couple of months time. If just few months back, I'd referred myself as Iffa while talking to even juniors, I've just realised I have been using the term "kak Iffa" or "akak" more often lately. Duh, you really are getting old Iffa!

Sitting in the clinics while I was doing dermatology, I had mostly the elderly coming into the clinics. Most of the time, they come as a couple who happened to be so sweet even at their old age. It seemed like they understand and care about each other so much.

I guess in the end, I do not really mind, in fact I do want to, growing old and have my own family who cares for me and who has the same understanding of what the purpose of live is; and spending the time left in my life wisely enough as a mu'min, not merely human being with nothing to make themselves special in His view.

"Sebaik-baik manusia diantaramu adalah yang paling banyak manfaatnya bagi orang lain"

(HR Bukhari)

Growing old is inevitable, but making the most of the time we have left is something that we are able to decide.

p/s: I was looking for a verse from the Quran, which differentiate those who stay at home and who go out to spread the good to other people but to no avail. Can somebody enlighten me which verse it is please?

R.I.P

There were days when I missed being a kid again - especially that being an adult seems too difficult at times. Too many thinking and decisions to make.

There were days when I missed being in Malaysia.

There were days when I missed my family - especially when I rang them, finding out they were all gathering at my bro's house; playing with that cute growing up Damia, me niece.

Today is the day I miss my late grandfather. I do not know why I suddenly feel his loss. Not that I was so close to him, but I guess with me being able to do some thinking now, much better than when I was too immature before when he was still alive - it is just sad thinking of me not to be able to have some chat with him anymore. Not to be able to ask him for advice. Not to be able to ask him stories I would want to know more now. Like the Memali incident - which I am sure he would have had a good one for me. Or like the history of Malaya before the independence (I can recall him telling me these before). Or the general history. Or anything else. Any general or personal stuff. And advice. Good advice from a grandpa. A pious grandpa.

I just miss him. We surely do share one common thing. That is one thing for sure, definitely.

And of course I miss my late grandmother too. As she was the best granny ever.

May Allah bless them. Ameen.

DON'T FORGET THE PRAYER

Thank Allah, I have finally submitted my poster this morning. I have actually completed both the abstract and poster last month. It was such a stressful task back then when I had only two days to finish every different types of report and presentation for my audit. Just relieved I had finished it earlier. Except I was having 'trouble' choosing the right colour for these past few days. Maroon vs green. Well it was not that it matters that much, but just because I have made the poster available in both colour, it was just getting me confused - then I needed to make a choice. And I ended up uploading the maroon one so far - still have time to change it.

Choosing. When we have to make a choice, we would normally choose what will benefit us the most. And what benefits us the most largely depends on how we perceive things. When one might perceive having huge expensive buildings is an important marker of development, another person might see the moral development being far more important than that. These perceptions, I suppose are influenced by religion, background, environment, experience etc.

Anyway, I have been reading the news and articles (from different sources, and again it is entirely up to us to choose which one is true and which one is not), I believe what I can call as campaigns for the national election which is only two days ahead. Yes, only two days ahead. And I was touched by an email sent to the Newcastle Balai mailinglist...

Dlm keadaan pilihanraya di M'sia yg semakin hampir dan bahang2 nya boleh dirasakan sehingga lah ke bumi UK yg sejuk ni :-) ... maka saya di sini suka utk mengingatkan rakan2 sekalian utk kita sama2 berdoa bhw pilihanraya di M'sia ni akan memberi kemenangan kpd pihak yg benar2 ikhlas dan inginkan kebaikan buat M'sia dan rakyat nya iA... Semoga kepimpinan itu diberikan oleh Allah swt kpd mereka yg benar2 berhak memilikinya, yang boleh memberikan kemakmuran, keadilan dan kebahagiaan yg berkekalan kpd rakyat M'sia dunia dan akhirat iA...

Kesedaran rakyat juga sangatlah penting di sini utk menentukan pemimpin mana yg selayaknya diberikan kekuasaan krn ianya sememangnya akan memberi implikasi yg besar kpd kehidupan seharian mereka, anak2 cucu dan seterusnya.. . Jadi kita rakyat M'sia yg berada di UK ni, yang mungkin susah utk terlibat dlm proses pengudian yg berlaku di M'sia masih juga boleh sama2 'menyumbang' dgn doa2 kita iA... Dlm hari-hari yg terakhir, menuju ke p/raya ni, sama2 lah kita doakan yg terbaik... a famous saying I once heard... "Do not underestimate the power of du'a..."

Aye, never underestimate the power of doa.

Read critically. Choose wisely. Pray for the best, insyaAllah.

Selamat mengundi. (pakat kelik ngundi bijok2 belako neh).

BLOGGER PEMBOHONG

Really?

Like I said, macam-macam lah sekarang ni dah dekat nak pilihanraya. Anyway, these videos are hilarious, man. Click here.

HOT 2008

I rang my mum few days back and one of the sentence she said was...

"lame Pah dok update blogspot tu"

Hehe, so that was a huge encouragement to update this after a while keeping myself busy (more or less pretending to) from updating this blog. And what comes in hand with the encouragement is the hot issue of national election 2008 in my beloved country.

That's right. Malaysia is to hold an early general election on the 8th of March, after our PM, Pak Lah dissolved the parliament just few days back, ending his term earlier, which was to expire in 2009. So that's more than a year ahead of the schedule. Whatever his plans are, only He and Allah know.

I am not that much into politics as compared to others, but I believe what happens in the country is for everyone of us to care about, and it is us who has the right to determine who to govern and on top of everything, opting for the right ruler and leader is a very important aspect in Islam itself. Government and citizen relationship comes in both ways. We vote for who we think would serve us right while government gets support from citizen to help running the country.

To be a leader is not to gain benefits and wealth from it, but to see it as a responsibility. Pemimpin itu selangkah kaki ke syurga dan selangkah ke neraka. That is why we wish both congratulation and sorry for someone when s/he is elected as a leader. Congratulation for being chosen by Allah to be a leader who will have the great opportunity to serve and make good change to gain His blessings. And sorry for all the burden that one has to go on with, in particular the burden of being questioned later on in the akhirat whether justice had been done or not.

With a very superficial knowledge and critical thought in politics that I have, I am not to comment much on this topic then... but to urge all of us to think wisely and critically before we vote.

1. The candidates
2. Macam-macam la bila pilihanraya ni. Isu orang utan
3. Never really seek for non Malays opinion about election before, but had brief discussions with few people I know here, and have been reading few websites. Check this one out: Jed Yoong, an individual journalist
4. Expert leadership needed. “Yes, religion is important, but there is no point talking about religion when you cannot develop the people and the state". Hmm? Totally agree that the "E.X.P.E.R.T.S." should lead.
5. Recognisation of shariah law by the Archbishop of Canterbury (although its not fully agreed but there's take home message from the video) - hmm... one question I do sometimes wonder: Why are muslims so scared to debate and question shariah law? He's right he's not a muslim to answer that, so ask yourself o muslims.

“Sesungguhnya Allah menyuruh kamu memberikan amanah kepada yang berhak menerimanya dan apabila kamu berhukum di kalangan manusia maka hendaklah kamu berhukum dengan adil. Sesungguhnya Allah memberikan pengajaran yang sebaik-baiknya kepadamu.”

(Surah an-Nisa’ ayat 58)

(wish I could vote, but for whatever reason, I had some issues with the registration) =(

EXAM MODE

I know this seems a bit weird after a long pause from blogging =) (which was 4 months ago?)

I used to always put my exams timetable here and has always asked for some prayers from the readers. And that is all my purpose for today. Nobody knows that I might have passed my previous exams due to the prayer made by any of you when you come across this page.

Always heard this: "Doa seorang sahabat yang tak diketahui dimakbulkan Allah" - insyaAllah.

So here goes me exam timetable, roughly (since have not checked the details yet):

Wednesday, 12 Dec 07, p.m. - Paper I
Thursday, 13 Dec 07 , p.m. - Paper II

And this is going to be the last paper exams before the finals!

And welcome to the last month of the Islamic calendar =)

SUMMER 2007

Right. Two months from last update now. Summer holiday was short but absolutely great. I spent 9 days in Egypt, 2 days in Dubai (with my brother) and 3 weeks in Malaysia (finally being able to meet Damia - she is so cute!!!!). As for another 3-5 days to make up a few more space in my holidays, I suppose I spent those hours in the flights.

I knew I won't be writing up my journey to Egypt and Dubai. Too lazy to narrate my experience and reflection. If I do, I am sure it is going to be pretty long. However when I read an email about one's experience while in Egypt, I bet these stuff said in that email would have been almost similar to a few things that I thought I was going to write up. Here's the email:

Salamun'alaik. .

Salam serta selawat ke atas Rasulullah Sallallahu 'Alaihi Wasallam, ahli keluarga baginda serta salam kepada para sahabat yang berjuang menegakkan Islam di muka bumi ini.

Kalau sesapa pernah duduk di Mesir, terutama di Kaherah, tentu tahu kerenah pemanduan para pengguna jalanraya di sana. Cara parkingnya yangmana sesapa yang beli keta mahal sekalipun tak boleh eksyen sebab gerenti kemek dlm minggu pertama..

Pun begitu.. satu pengalaman yang tak dapat dilupakan juga ke Mesir, intai si Firaun yg derhaka tu, masuk piramid, tapi yang best ke Iskandariah. .

Kalau yg pernah jumpa bebudak jual roti di Kaherah lagi best..

Roti tu dia susun sampai 12 tingkat atas kepala dia.. dan.. aksi yang paling best dia buat ialah..

Sambil kayuh basikal di tengah-tengah bandar yang sibuklah sesangatnya. .

Skil dia balance roti atas kepala sambil kayuh basikal dan dengan selamba langgar lampu isyarat..

Well, except that I did not go to Alexandria (Iskandariah) nor did I enter the pyramid (just visited th em in Giza and ride a camel). My brother and I did plan to go there, but for whatever reason, it has to be canceled. Owh and I think I could hardly find a traffic light there too. And there were horses/donkeys on the road too, alongside with the cars. How amazing!

One good thing to learn was to appreciate, accept and adapt the big differences between the countries that I have been to and people I have met there. But sad to say, how I wish an Islamic country could be very clean as that is how it is supposed to be, cleanliness is part of the iman (faith).

ONE OF THE REASONS

I just need to pass my exams. And one of the reasons is her. My niece who I have never been able to see and hug, and whom I have bought loads of toys for - which are going to be the only things to bring back home in my luggage.


OSCE was so hard, hopefully I am over it now. But still finding it hard to motivate myself to study for my paper exams. And I suppose that is one of the reasons I am in front of the computer, typing all these out when I should be reading infectious disease handouts, or answering MCQ questions.

Please give me strength Ya Allah.

PRAY FOR ME

YM status: Clumsy Iffa!

nikmadihah: iffa tak clumsy. she is as graceful as a swan.
iffa: yes i am
iffa: i just spilled a cup of coffee on the table and some books and notes just went brown!!!!!!!!
nikmadihah: add flavour and spice to life
iffa:
iffa: how was exam
nikmadihah: now u wont sleep while reading notes hehe
nikmadihah: ok tapi cuak for tomorrow.
iffa: or the noteswont sleep while reading me
iffa:
nikmadihah: hahahahahahaha. lawakla tu. taknak chatting ngan iffa yg buzy. cu soon
iffa: all the bestok
iffa: kene study pon
nikmadihah: ok beb. u too
iffa: doakan kame
iffa: kami
nikmadihah: ok insyAllah
nikmadihah: wslm

Please pray that me in exams is totally the opposite (it's practical exams tomorrow, and clumsiness won't help at all!)
=)

END OF THIRD YEAR

Yes, it is almost towards the end of the third year. Hopefully it will really be the end of third year, going into the fourth year a.k.a. the 'holiday' year for medics in Newcastle.

Stressing out for the exams is basically the background thought of my mind right now, although I have to say I have not put much effort yet so far, despite the library being more like a home now. Well I do try the best I could afford now, there are just too many things I need to study that I do not know where to start, and how to be organised with it. Anyway, please pray for us, the third years...

03 July 07 CIDR assessment

05 July 07 GP assessment

13 July 07 OSCE

19 July 07 Paper 1

20 July 07 Paper 2

All the best to those who are having exams or writing up reports too! Or for those with problems in life that need sorting out, may Allah guide us all in the right path.

DECISION

I had never realised a career that I have chosen would involve mainly decision making, until a few months ago. I always find making decision a hard thing to do. Not that I think about consequences all the time before I react to something, but most of the time, I do. And I never like to be one who decides. It probably just emphasises on how coward I am, afraid to take the responsibility to whatever decision I make.

Decision making is more like an adut thingy. Considering myself as still a child (haha sangke), I do not mind to not much being involved in the process itself. Even so, I do make decisions everday, do I? I decide when to set the alarm on the phone, yet next morning, I decide when actually do I want to wake up. I decide whether I want to have simple breakfast or a heavy one or none at all. I decide where am I going to sit in the metro going to the hospital. I decide whether or not to complete the sudoku on the way, or should I read something for the seminar. I decide where am I going to sit in the seminar. I decide whether I should spend money on the lovely scone in the cafe for 10 minutes break. Well, that is to name few of it. But most of these are decisions done unconsciously. I suppose when it comes to emotion and rationale, it is very very different. (come on, grow up Ifaa!)

But, it is not a bad thing at all is it? When you find something is hard enough for you, that you would need someone to help and support you, that is what makes you closer to Allah. Because He will always be there for us. And remember that Allah knows best.

(although still, I do not understand how can one be so sure about decisions s/he is making? if I do not believe that everything happens for a reason coz Allah knows best, then I do not know where would I have been now)

Thank you Allah for this beauty of surrendering myself to You.

THE MENTAL TALK

There were times when I felt like I totally knew what I am doing, but at some other times, I just had no clue of why I do things. Here, I am writing particularly about medicine. About choosing medicine and a career as a healthcare professional in the future. Not bluffing - most of the time, I really want to become a doctor, and I can see me becoming one in the future. Chatting kindly with patients and not forgetting to smile as a means of treating them psychologically before medically. But on the other hand, it did sometimes feel so strange as if medicine is not the right pathway for me at all - honestly, there were a number of times when I felt like quitting medicine.

As for now, I am very glad to share that today is one of the days when I like being here, doing what I am doing. I truthfully enjoyed the case presentation session this afternoon. Amazing how your teachers and colleagues could actually change your perception and thought over something. Cheers guys (haha,like u guys are ever gonna read this?). Each day just went so fast, and today I have already finished my first week - out of four - of mental health (psychiatry) rotation.

Then, I will start my final rotation - that being CIDR (chronic illness disease rotation) for eight weeks, then bam! Big exam is coming up. Well, not as enormous as the judgement day, but your efforts still count for that, aye?

At this moment, I know I should have fully AWARE of the very limited time I have to spend on studying, and that last minute study is no more a smart way of passing a third year med student exam... but although the word exams has always been the mainstay of our daily conversation for this week, I have no clues of why am I still not paranoid with it. I suppose I study better under the pressure and I need to be a bit worry about it. Actually come to think of it, I do feel nervous, with a grandious jitteriness in fact. Especially when I was going through some random MCQ questions and found out that I cannot answer things I could have possibly been able to answer even in my first year. I remember when I was in infectious disease rotation, I turned totally blank when I was being asked "what do the B cells produce?". Seriously, where was I in the past two years?

Sometimes, everything is there in your head. You know you have the answers, but you just need more time to organise them. Or maybe you cannot put them together at all until someone tells you the answer, then you go "aahh, I knew it was that!". Worst, you know you have read or heard a medical term which appears in the answer lists before, but you just cannot recall what it is about. And even worst, you know that you are expected to know about something, but you just don't.

Ya Allah Ya Rabbal 'Alamin, I need strength for this.

ONE SATURDAY NIGHT

Adik almost cried when not all the housemates wanted to play her game. Children, they are so imaginative, and this one has always created "her game", having her own rules of playing it.

That night, she needed all six of us to join. So when she started crying in my room, finally everybody agreed to play. We all went outside into the living room and sat in a circle. Apparently, her game that night resembled "kotak beracun". Well, almost the same, except with no aim or ridiculous dares like I had always played it before. We just had to pass her 2-3 weeks old-very-cute-teddy-bear (which she got from a car boot sales) around the circle, and wait until the music stops. Whoever holds the teddy will have to go and play the music and stop it for the next round.

I love you Adik!!

For the first few rounds, we were so blank. There was no aim at all. If we get the teddy there would be no "punishment", I suppose going to press the cd player button is not a horrible thing to go through. Ok. So one of us adjusted the game to make it more interesting. Bits by bits, it ultimately ended up as 'truth or dare' game, if you have ever heard of it. But the rule was a bit distorted - one had to answer the question first, only if you choose not to answer, then you would be dared.

And going back earlier that day, Kak Rabitah bought a litre of goat's milk today, just to taste it, since it is one of sunnah left by Rasulullah s.a.w. Everybody tried it, except me. I was turned off by the scream Amira made when she gave it a taste. I did not even like lamb. How on earth would I like the milk if it tastes worse than lamb or sheep? Amazingly, adik is the hero. She likes it so much, that we still have it in our fridge now, coz adik wants more! She is the only one in this house who alhamdulillah, able to drink the milk.

I wish I could too. Do not say I did not try. That night, when I refused to share my "personal" secret, I was dared to drink a full cup of goat's milk, without pinching my nose. And trust me it was no easy task to do. It was not the taste, but the smell. Devastating. It is one of the sunnah, so I assume is good for the health too, but I just can't help myself. Luckily, it is not an obligatory one.

A few morals from the story. Firstly, the game was so bored when we first played it. No aim. Everybody was just looking at each other with a what-are-we-doing-passing-this-teddy-around look. And nobody minded to hold the teddy when the music stopped. But when the rules changed, with aim not to get the teddy coz if not you would have to tell the secret or get a dare, everybody was passing the teddy very quickly. Trying the best not to hold it when the music stopped. And screamed horribly when it happened. Same goes to our lives. If we do not have aim in this life, it is boring. There would be no purpose of life.

I once asked an SHO who is an atheist, "so what's your purpose of life?". He said "I'm afraid I will loose (to me, coz we were arguing loads before) about this one. To be honest, my purpose of life before I got married was bullshit. But now that I am married, it's my wife and my two kids."

Secondly, I was so reluctant to drink the milk before. But when I have to drink it due to the "rules", I managed to finish a full cup of it. A full cup mind you, not a sip. It is not fair for me or for other players to not do the dare as we already agreed to the rule.

A believer believes that Allah's rule is one to obey. It is not fair for Allah that we claim we are muslims but we never play by His rules. It is not fair that we agreed to be born into this world and live on the earth He created with all the ni'mat, yet we do not play our lives by His rules.

And just see how important are the governers who have the power, who can use their "hands" to rule something. A hadith says (approximately):

"If you come across a wrong deed, change it with your hand. And if you cannot change it with your hand, speak against it with your tounge. And if you cannot speak against it with your tounge, hate it in your heart."

When there are rules, people have to follow it, whether they like it or not. And first rules to obey are ones from our Creator. I needed to drink the goat's milk no matter I like it or not. Because it was the rule. Congratulations to me!

(should have niat minum sebab sunnah rasulullah...dapat jugak pahala huhuhu)

FROM BEIRUT TO JERUSALEM

I have heard about the book "from Beirut to Jerusalem" vaguely before, but I was so ignorance to find it and give it a read. Good thing when I went to IMAM programme called Extreme Medicine last weekend, the writer herself, Dr Ang came up as one of the speakers, talking about the manmade disaster, the war. She talked about her experience, how she was brought up to support Israel and to hate the Arabs, the so called "terrorists". But her experience has changed it all.

Click here for the audio, pictures, and written experience. Trust me, you have to listen to this one!

One of the very touching picture, as described by Dr Ang:


---And suddenly a whole lot of children - Palestinian children from every where began to crowd around me, and the little girl said "Doctor can you take a picture of us?" I said "of course I will". "You must take a picture of us now because there is the Shatila camp - tomorrow maybe the camp will be destroyed and there will be no more Shatila, but al least today we are here and you can take a picture and show your friends all over the world this refugee camp and show them we are the children of Shatila". And as I began to focus the camera they decided to put their hands up and make a victory sign and said "and we are not afraid". This picture was taken in October 1982, since then I have been back to Lebanon many times, and each time I go back I carry a copy of these pictures hoping I can find them - of course I never found any of these children. But now looking back I realise they didn't ask me bring the pictures back to them - they said take the pictures and show it to the whole world, to show the whole world how the Palestinian children of Shatila camp were not afraid. So I am showing it to you now." ---(by Dr Ang)

Even up to now she is so active, trying to make sure that people will soon realise who are the terrorists, and who are the victims. May Allah grant her hidayah... and may we learn something from her spirit and enthusiasm.

T.O.P.

I am now doing my obs and gynae rotation, and I am so called to reflect upon my session today and share the thought with all of you. I was timetabled to sit in a family planning clinic this afternoon. I thought it was gonna be a light unstressful session discussing and learning about the variety of contraceptive methods available at the moment. I thought I would not learn much except the same facts written in the text books. But my assumption was completely wrong. I think today is the day when I made lot of reflections. The day when I learned that there are so much things to worry about in this life. The day when I could have burst into tears if I did not control myself. The day when the future looks so foggy even though I am beginning to see the interesting and challenging bits of doing obs and gynae later on.

I assume it is alright to write in general about my experience today, without breaching any confidentiality. So I sat in the clinic and I met a few people there. And I never thought there would be so many cases of termination of pregnancy (TOP). Yes, English law allows TOP before 24 wks(?) but culturally before 17 weeks (?). (Well I might not be the right person to comment about this medics stuff – just in my third year – do not want to look that stupid or even worse, to give wrong information or anything.) But anyway, being here and being just a medical student, I have to respect the patients' right to choose their way of life. There are just too many ethical reasons to consider about. I am totally against it of course, only Allah knows what was in my mind at that time.

Back to the case. So I sat in the clinic and one of the patients that came in for TOP was only as young as 15 years old.She is so young and even afraid of having a venepuncture (amik darah) done on her arm. I presume she had no idea what to expect for committing a TOP. It is not her story that I wanted to comment here, coz I have no right to talk about her. But I suppose I have the right to comment about my relatives who have the same religion as mine ie. the muslims – and to be more precise, Malaysian muslims coz its more relevant to us. Coz I care about my society. I care about my religion. And these are important factors in directing my future life and the future of Islam and I care about these.

What stricken me the most was when I imagined her being my sister. When she said she was born in 1991, my first gut reaction was “that is so my sister’s age” – nauzubillah, may Allah prevent this disaster from anybody that I know of – well, at that moment I could not help thinking about the situation in Malaysia where the contraindicated values of the West is becoming a culture. Incorrect way of entertainment is the main component of life nowadays. Normal homo sapiens named as “artists” are being worshipped more than ever. Muslims going to night clubs are becoming more common. In fact I heard some comments saying that it is peculiar to not have gone there among some groups of Malaysian muslim youths and teenagers, mind you. Same goes to virginity. Some can be so proud to tell that they have actually lost their virginities. Surprise surprise, some can even be so ashamed to not have done it by certain age – which is so ridiculous. And if you want to hear something more ridiculous, some even "sell" themselves to achieve wealth in this impermanent, temporary life. And when unwanted pregnancy occurs, this would most of the time results in abortion or infanticide or child abuse which adds up to the sinful acts prior to this. I cannot imagine the battle I would be in to make sure my future children (kalau panjang umur) are safe from all these new culture which is totally against Islam.

I chatted with a friend who befriends a few of these “social” or “huha huha” people once. She claimed that most of them are influenced by peers. Family problems, lack of attention and religious education are mainly the basic reasons to why they tend to be easily influenced by friends. They have no parents to go to, so friends are the only options. That is why relationship within familymembers is an asset for taking down these social problems. I haven’t got any experience myself to mingle closely with these people, so I would not blame anyone. Blame. Human beings always tend to blame other people when bad, unwanted things happen to them.

Anyway. My point is that I would like to remind myself and all, that we all have a purpose in our life. We have our religion as our way of life. Please do not let other culture takes over ours. Never underestimate the effect of discussing religious issues and educating ourselves and the children even at early age coz to know more about our religion and practising it fully are the only things that will make sure that we are on the right path.

Hidup tanpa ilmu umpama orang yg mati.
Ilmu tanpa amal umpama orang yg tidur.
Amal tanpa keikhlasan adalah sia2.

[masa belajar ni je la kalau nak ada masa buat benda2 extra, dah keje nanti apelah nasib....]

~~~~just a piece of thought~~~~
~~~~~betulkan jika salah~~~~~

SO BEAUTIFUL

My usrahmates and I joined a programme called Da'wah Course today, organised by the Islamic society. It was focusing on communicating Islam to the non-muslims to facilitate and encourage us to do the obligatory sunnah of our beloved prophet Muhammad s.a.w (p.b.u.h.) - that is to do da'wah. Yes, it is a sunnah, but it is a duty of us, muslims. I used to always interpret sunnah as wearing a turban, keeping the beard (both for guys obviously), etc. But it is actually everything that was done, spoken, or undone by rasulullah s.a.w. And one might not realise that things like da'wah to non muslims and bringing back the true Islamic country into the world up to achieving the world orde (ustaziatul 'alam) are also the sunnah. The obligatory ones in fact.

It was only a one day - no, actually, a half day course indeed. 11am -5pm. Let me just share and reflect back a few valuable points that I have learned today.

The course had one practical session where the facilitators acted as a non muslims and the participants had to answer the questions asked by them. Some of the questions might just be "tell me about Islam". As simple as that. Of course we can talk about thousands and millions of thing, but what do we want to focus on first especially if we have only 3 minutes with him/her? There was a quote from a brother: "You are not doing da'wah if you are just discussing about why you don't eat pork, why you don't drink alcohol, why you dont go to pub. But talk about the tauhid." Let them know that Allah is one. The one god that we worshipp. Let them believe that Allah is their god too. That Allah is everyone's god. Easier said than done of course, but we never know if it is through us that Allah wants to grant the hidayah to a non muslim. Let me give you a few more questions or statement that we as a muslim might want to start thinking of.

1. What is Allah? Why is your god different from others?
2. Aren't all the religions the same?
3. Why do good people or muslims still suffer if god exist? I have a friend who is suffering from cancer, she is a good person, the best one I have ever met. Why does god allow her to suffer when she is a good person?
4. Where does evil come from? From god?
5. I am not an evil person. I do good things, and I help lots of people. Would I be condemned to hell simply because I am not a muslim? - Man, this is though!
6. How can you be so sure Islam is true?
7. How do know Muhammad is a prophet? Didn't all sorts of other people claim to be prophets?
8. Why are dressing like that (for women)? Do you not feel oppressed? How do you find a boyfriend then? Do you not have one? (I actually got this one)
9. Do you have to pray five times a day? That must be so hard for you!
10. You are not even allowed to drink when you ae fasting? Hey, that is not good for your health is it?
11. Do you need to be particular about what you are eating? What is these halal meats?
12. You are not allowed to drink alcohol even a small sip of it? But isn't it good for the heart if you take redwine occasionally? You won't get drunk.

Some of these were questions I got from my friends too or from a stranger I met in the metro, or in a shop. It is a good thing they ask us - it means they are interested to know. And we do not even have to go and approach them. In this case, the least thing that we could do is to tell them about Islam. To let them know about Islam. To help them find the truth. Any question. Any statement.

Anyway, we do not have much time to discuss the questions. The key thing to answering these questions is definitely KNOWLEDGE. Sometimes we know Islam is right, any query directed to us will go back to the fact that Allah is fair and that there must be good thing that comes out of bad things because Allah knows the best for us. Many of us might have lots of knowledge, but knowledge without practising it is nothing. Trust me, trying to answer these questions and explain it carefully, trying no to offend anyone is not an easy thing to do especially when you never think of these questions, because you are born muslims. But practise makes perfect, right?

True success of doing da'wah is that you obey Allah and you made the effort. Every time you do da'wah you will be rewarded. If they become muslims, alhamdulillah. If not, it is all in Allah's hand.

ادْعُ إِلِى سَبِيلِ رَبِّكَ بِالْحِكْمَةِ وَالْمَوْعِظَةِ الْحَسَنَةِ وَجَادِلْهُم بِالَّتِي هِيَ أَحْسَنُ إِنَّ رَبَّكَ هُوَ أَعْلَمُ بِمَن ضَلَّ عَن سَبِيلِهِ وَهُوَ أَعْلَمُ بِالْمُهْتَدِينَ

"Invite (all) to the Way of thy Lord with wisdom and beautiful preaching; and argue with them in ways that are best and most gracious: for thy Lord knoweth best, who have strayed from His Path, and who receive guidance."

[an-Nahl;125]

INVITE. It does not say MAKE SURE everybody will gladly be accepting it. But let them know. Give them choice. There are many prophets of Allah who did the preaching for many years, and some of them ended up with very few followers, or even none. But the key thing is, the effort was there. Even rasulullah s.a.w., the habibullah (one who Allah loves) was being tortured and treated so badly when he introduced Islam to the community.

By the way, back to the title of this post. An unexpected, unplanned beautiful event occured in the mosque during the course. I can still hear the announcement very loudly at the back of my head.

"Brothers and sisters, we are about to witness something that doesn't happen every day. We are about to witness a new birth".

There was a Caucasian brother, who wanted to say the syahadah, and admit that Allah is the only god and that Muhammad is the messenger of god. And it was very touched when he said it, that he actually has hearing problems, and he has to read the lip to understand or to know what the other brother was saying. And he said it in front of all of us. And he has just became a new person, who is free from sin, like a newborn. And I wish I can start as fresh as him.

Not only that, a few minutes later a sister came to us, and told us that an 11 years old girl who followed her granny (who is also a revert) to the course, has also said the syahadah after she stated her interest to become a muslim. And only after that, she began to think about her mother's acceptance.

11 years old girl and a guy with hearing and speech problems. Two in a row. It is so amazing how Allah can open their heart to accept Islam. Even when the media is currently busy reviewing the July 7 tragedy and keeps relating it to muslims as terrorists. Even when the channel 4 had just commented and created misconceptions about Islam in Undercover Mosque.

11 years old girl. What did I do when I was 11? Playing galah panjang with boys, talking and obsessing about KRU and the musics, what else? If I was not a muslim at time, I doubt that I would have achieved that high level of thinking to make decisions about religion or even to care about my religion, and obviously not even try to find out the true religion. And a guy who has to read lip to communicate? Who uses sign language to talk to others? Very amazing. Seriously. There are so many of us, muslims or not, who are so perfect as a human being, having ears and eyes to see His "ayat", yet we keep them shut and do not use them wisely.

Some of us could not control ourselves from crying happily. Everyone was so touched. It was so beautiful. It was like a miracle. It is something that I never thought I would have witnessed.

BELAIAN IBU

[Hijjaz]

Tertanam naluri keibuan amat mendalam
Di jiwa insan yang mendambakan kebahagiaan
Oh... ibu

Di bahumu tergalas beban
Perjalananmu penuh rintangan
Kau titipkan kasih sayang
Sejujur pengorbanan
Tak ku nafikan

Di saat kita berjauhan
Rasa ingin ku berlari
Mendakapimu penuh girang
Bak si kecil kehilangan

Kau insan penyayang
Betapa ku merindu
Lembutnya belaian ibu
Membuatku terlena

Di wajah terlukis tenang
Debar di dada kau rahsiakan
Ku pastikan dikau aman
Dikurnia sejahtera
Tak ku lupakan

Di saat kita berjauhan
Rasa ingin ku berlari
Mendakapimu penuh girang
Bak si kecil kehilangan

Tiada aku tanpa ibu
Hanya (kau) satu didunia
Bertakhta dikau dijiwaku
Kau lah ibu yang tercinta

Kau insan pengasih
Betapa aku mengharap
Hadirnya restumu ibu
Membawaku ke syurga

Bersemi belaian kasih sayang nan berpanjangan
Darimu insan yang mendoakan kebahagiaan anak-anakmu
Oh... Ibu

HAPPY 19th BIRTHDAY LITTLE (?) BRO

Tiap saat pun we grow up. Apa guna bertambah usia if we are not becoming more mature than before. If we still do not appreciate others that are important to us, and if we still do not know how to differentiate yang hak dan yang batil. My lil bro, hope you will grow up to be as nice a brother to us the siblings, as mithali a son to mama n papa, as funny and cheerful a friend to your friends, as brilliant a student to your teachers, as responsible a person to the ummah, and most important as obedient and faithful a believer to Allah.

Hey good news is no matter how old you are, you will always be a brother to a GOOD sister (hhehe)

*sori, aku copy je ayat ecard tu, malas nok tulis baru...*

TOO MUCH

Ok. I have not been writing for a while. Almost two months from Eid and now is very close to another Eid celebration. And I was planning to go back home and play with my first niece, but the ticket is so expensive I just can't afford it myself, and I just can't afford asking "a few grands" from my parents. Well, at least it is so sweet to know that some people do miss me at home, although some admitted it but some didn't, I so know that you do Im, hehehe :P

Ok so my niece has almost turns 3 months now. I went to carboot this morning and bought a few things for her. And Danish and Fatin are back here in Newcastle!! I can't believe how fast and clever has Danish grown up - he can repeat your words, follow your instructions, laugh hilariously (when you push him in that kereta sorong plastik), and he is undeniably cute.

Quick update. I have finished my first sem exam - I won't say it was great, but some of the stations was not that bad. I knew it whenever I screwed it (apart from the sleepy patient that I thought was asked to act as a tired and sleepy patient - whom I assumed might has had partial ptosis due to ?pancoast tumour - but apparently that was not the case). And that stupid cannula station, why on earth would I insert blood when the question clearly asked me to insert the iv fluid? Guys, PLEASE read the question carefully and do exactly what it says, do not just assume the question. And DO NOT PANIC. 5 minutes is more than enough for a question and a cannulation procedure. Seriously.

And AGM Balai Malaysia (Malaysian community in Newcastle) has also been held. And I have just officially started my holiday in which I am going nowhere really, as opposed to last year (went back to Malaysia - its been a year now!) and last 2 years when I travelled to few different places). I will spend 6 days at PMS (Perhimpunan Musim Sejuk) in coventry - which I am sure would be beneficial - then I am gonna have Asma' coming here. And I should probably go and visit a few people I have been too busy to visit during the term time, and go and visit the newborns as well. And there will be another Eid without family (isk isk isk) and then another term will begin very soon - I will start with paediatrics in South Tyneside hospital.

Now it seems like I am gonna have a really short break, but the best part is I should startlooking for July ticket coz I am definitely planning to go back this summer. InsyaAllah.

FWD: RE: EMAIL

Date: Mon, 27 Nov 2006 21:42:14 +0000 (GMT)
Subject: Re: [saifulislam.com] Pendapat Peribadi 'ISU MURTAD & DAKWAH'

saya pun sama.

saya rasa diorang salah sebab diorang tak friendly. saya rasa diorang salah sebab tak bermanis muka pada saya, sebab saya rasa saya deserve perkara2 ni.

saya juga memandang geng dakwah dengan pandangan negatif, sebabnya diorang pernah marah kawan baik saya yang berdua-duaan di taman bunga, atau juga pernah menyindir kawan saya yang sedang begayut dengan girlfriendnya berjam2. adakah camtu cara dakwah?

saya juga rasa pelik terhadap mahasiswa yang aktif berdakwah, sedangkan ramai lagi mahasiswa lain yang tidak menerima dakwah mereka. mahasiswa2 ni sepatutnya merancang bagaimana hendak menyebarkan Islam dengan lebih baik. kalau dilihat dalam universiti, sedikit je student yang terkesan dengan dakwah...yang lain enjoy je dunia tak ingat. sepatutnya geng2 dakwah ni rancang supaya lebih ramai student lain dapat didakwahkan sama.

siapa saya?

saya adalah antara manusia yang lebih mementingkan 'kaedah hikmah lembut' dari peri penting mesej dakwahnya.

saya juga adalah penonton2 tepi memandang sepi dan sinis pada geng dakwah melakukan kerja tanpa memberi bantuan pada mereka.

saya juga adalah manusia penonton yang sentiasa 'menghakimi' tindak tanduk geng dakwah, tapi lupa bahawa saya sebenarnya hanya penonton yang tidak menyumbang mana pada umat.

saya juga adalah manusia yang sentiasa memberi pandangan kepada gerakan islam pelajar dengan pelbagai cadangan, tetapi saya sendiri tidak/kurang membantu bersusah bersenang bersama membawa suara dakwah ke mercunya.

saya juga adalah manusia yang merasakan diri saya belum cukup baik untuk berdakwah, maka saya kena baiki diri saya dahulu baru saya akan berdakwah. bila saya nak baik?....sebenarnya saya tak tahu jawapan tu. sebenarnya saya tahu Yusuf Qardhawi pun tak akan kata dia dah baik maka dia dah boleh mula berdakwah.

sebenarnya saya tahu jawapan pada semua di atas. tetapi sebenarnya saya ingin jadi penonton je, saya malas nak susah2, nanti kalau aktif sangat saya takut pihak univeristy HEP blacklist saya. atau biasiswa saya ditarikbalik. saya takut hilang kawan2 saya yang ramai, yang panas telinga bila ada mamat datang dan dakwah pada mereka... saya tak nak hilang kawan, bilik penempatan university, dan segala-segalanya. akhir sekali saya takut saya tiada masa depan...

saya adalah salah seorang anak wawasan, salah seorang manifestasi produk pendidikan negara hadhari, tahu saya tidak membawa erti, kerana iman saya tidak teguh di hati.

kita tahu, biarlah dikumpulkan seluruh alam ini, merancang memusnahkan kita, jika tidak dengan redha-Nya ia tidak akan tertimpa ke atas kita. begitu juga sebaliknya. mari kita berlapang dada dengan perkara2 'kurang manis' yang pernah berlaku dalam 'golongan dakwah', kita doakan allah merahmati mereka.

mari bersama terjun ke lapangan ini, ambil segala yang baik sebagai panduan, yang tidak baik sebagai teladan. perbaikilah ia. mari teguhkan (bukan sekadar penonton) dan perkuatkan gerakan dakwah Islam ini. mari menjadi 'pelakon-pelakonnya ', cukuplah sudah lama kita menjadi 'penontonnya' .

penonton hanya membayar tiket wayang, pelakon lah mendapat ganjaran utamanya apabila filem menjadi box-office.

wallahu alam.

RAYA KETIGA DI PERANTAUAN

Kad raya kami untuk semua (designed amik dari www.sifoo.com) :

Before raya:
Alin ngan Athirah semangat buat kuih raya. Tien masak macam2. Tambah lagi ada orang minta buat rendang sebab kalau takde rendang tak rase raye katenye (saya la tu). Saya tolong menyibuk je kat dapur. Ada budak2 rasa raya lagi meriah, lagi semangat nak raya. Kak Jua gantung kad raya kat dinding. Terasa raya. Copy takbir raya dalam mp3 pastu dengar malam tu masa tengah masak.

Saya: Athirah, what are you doing tomorrow for Raya?
Athirah: Hey, tomorrow is Monday. I'm going to school.
(gelak je la...yakin betul budak ni jawab. Comel je.)

Raya pertama:
Pagi bangun lambat. Lepas subuh mandi bersiap2 pakai baju kurung nak pegi hospital. Biarlah orang pandang pelik its my raya. Pastuh terkejar2 makan sebab lambat dah. Bas datang pukul 7.46 am tapi tak sempat nak siap. Kalau tak naik bas ni, macam tak sempat nak naik metro jam 8.04 am. Nasib baik Kak Jua nak buat 2 trip hantar Madihah ngan Aina solat raya dulu, baru amik Kak Rabitah n the rest. So tumpang kereta Kak Jua gi metro station. Rupanya memang ade hikmah. Dalam kereta Nithia call, cakap bus ade strike ari ni, sikit je bus yang in service. Nasib baik tak tunggu bas, kalau tak takdenye nak minta Kak Jua hantarkan. Sampai2 metro, train to South Hylton arrived lagi 2 minit. Alhamdulillah. Thanks Kak Jua. Panic sebenarnye sebab pagi tu ade individual assessment.

Masa pegi hospital, memang rasa nak balik sangat. Terbayang semua orang kumpul kat sport centre solat raya. Pastu jalan2 rumah orang, jumpe2 beraya, paling best boleh jumpe kuih2 raya and makanan2 malaysia yang jarang sangat orang buat kalau bukan untuk raya. Tapi nak buat macammana. Ada priorities. Yang mana wajib, yang mana sunat kena amik kira.

وما تقرب إلي عبدي بشيء أحب إلي مما افترضت عليه وما يزال عبدي يتقرب إلي بالنوافل حتى أحبه

Ertinya : “..dan tidaklah hampir kepadaku seorang hambaKu dengan apa juapun, maka yang lebih ku sukai adalah mereka melaksanakan amalan fardhu/wajib ke atas mereka, dan sentiasalah mereka ingin menghampirkan diri mereka kepadaKu dengan mengerjakan amalan sunat sehinggalah aku kasih kepadanya…” (Riwayat Al-Bukhari, no 6021)

Tapi sampai je kat hospital, terus gi mintak leave of absence form. Harap2 lepas assessment boleh balik. Yakin je boleh. Diorang ni faham je.

Masa Richard ngan Sarah tengah kasi feedback:

Richard: Is there anything else you would like to say?
Saya: (unfold the form). I'd like to request an early leave for today. It's my eid celebration today. Do you think the workshops on shock this afternoon is really important to go to?
Sarah: I think you can go and see Chris and ask him about that. It should be fine. I'll hand the form in to Tracy.

Yeay! Balik awal, berjalan tak hengat. (influence Ija jugak ajak balik awal, hehe). Jumpa kawan mama masa kat rumah Kak Yati.

Saya: UiTM Dungun? Kenal la mak ayah Iffa... Wan Jaafar ngan Jamilah?
Kak Zu: Oh, Jamilah. Selalu jumpe tu. Die selalu jugak bawak anak2 dia datang ofis.
Saya: Ouh adik la tu. Suke sangat ikut mak die tu (hehe sori Im)
Kak Zu: Selalu jumpe 2 orang kat dalam toilet...
Saya: Erk...2 orang...tu saye la tu jugak kot akak. Ikut jugak kadang2. Hehhe.

Kecik betul dunia. Dah jumpe rupanya. (Sori Ma, dok ingat nok cite mase call ari tu).

Berjalan tak hengat, makan pun tak berenti. Dah amik sket2 je tapi banyak sangat juadah sampai penuh perut.

Raya 1st house at Kak Ita's.

Raya kedua:
(besok2 la update. Buat kerja lain plak).

KEYBOARD CHALLENGE

It is almost two months since I updated my blog. And I am struggling with the keyboard right now since it is not working perfectly as it used to. Moral of the story: Never place a glass of water next to your laptop when a chance for a book to fall and knock that glass of tea off is very likely. And more importantly, do not blow your wet keyboard with a hair dryer!

Always came up with ideas to write, but either too busy or too lazy to type them down. Time flies as quick as you could ever imagine. Third year is interesting but is very very tiring. It is already the 21st day of Ramadhan - presuming more people will be going to masjid as it is in these last ten days that the muslims should be decorating their path of finding the lailatul qadr, a night that is better than a thousand months (right?). Well at least that happens in here - reflecting me when I was back in Malaysia, final 10 days of Ramadhan, would probably be busy with the kuih raya (nyumnyum) and "preparation" for raya.

I miss my normal keyboard!!!!!

Ok. So I joined an arabic class today after 5 years leaving the language of the paradise behind, since form 5. And it was fine, very great indeed. But that's not the point. We had a conversation about the eid. All other students are married, and they were thinking about making eid celebration as the best one especially for their children. I thought it was because you know, it is mainly the kids who enjoy any celebration the most above all others. (I did).

But no. They have to make it the best celebration because it is a religious celebration and the kids need to know that it is more important than christmas celebration (which in general, is obviously important here for the Christians and any kid would enjoy it, trust me, christmas shopping starts as early as in this month already). They do not want their children to love other celebrations more than our own religious celebrations. Never thought of it that way before. Probably because the situation in Malaysia is totally different.

Seriously I do not like typing using this keyboard anymore.

All the best in finding the night, and EIDUKUM MUBAARAK.

TODAY

Travel back time
I haven't got any blog
Wonder how exactly did I end up with one

Today
Here I am
My fingers are dancing on the keyboard
If not to remind myself
Probably to share with others
Or just to say out loud my thoughts
Perhaps to practise my poor English and my writing skills
Most likely all of them in one
Exactly like what I'm doing right now

Just when the summer holiday started
I was looking all over the town
As best as I could
For a summer work
Cheers Kak Akma, for keeping me company
Unfortunately I couldn't find any
So I volunteered at a charity shop
Nice experience I have to say
Anyway I somehow miss operating the till there
Although I might be awarded
The clumsiest cashier ever

Today
The summer holiday has almost finished
Even the summer has already gone
No more sun so no more sunburn
Feels more like winter already but I'm fine with it
And I am a working lady, straining my eyes in front of the computer
Coping well to read the doctor's handwritings
Some are fine even very good indeed
But some look more like ECG readings to me
And those sometimes gave me headache
The first week I was so excited to get the job
But this week I sometimes glanced surreptitiously at the watch
Thinking when 5 o'clock is gonna come
But it doesn't matter if I go back early, really
Coz the pay is based per hour work
As long as I do not cheat or misuse the time
It should be fine
Only I worry if I summarise the notes far too slow
But again, it does took some time to figure out the ECG handwritings
Thanks to all staff for being helpful and well approachable

If you ask me
I'd prefer my student life I guess
Give me ten years doing medicine and I wouldn't mind
Well, except if I don't get my own allowance
That's a totally different situation

Two years ago
I started my first year studying medicine
Was quivered with fear and excitement when I first arrived here
Hoping to do my very best
Having been given a chance to come here
Despite thinking I was not good enough to even apply of coming here

Today
I am less than two weeks away
From my third clinical year which promises us no lectures (I suppose)
But have never did my best, not even tried
Only to regret it later in life
Lucky I still pass the year
And thanks to all my friends whom without them I wouldn't have done it
(by Allah's will of course)

Long time ago
I once was being tested
Thought that was the biggest problem I had ever faced
And there was hardly anyone I could consult to
And only now I realise that I was given a chance
To consult Him alone
Coz He always listens and He is The All-Knowing
And I was given an incredible strength
Never felt stronger than I used to

Today
I wonder where has the strength gone
I wonder why the prayers hasn't been the same
With all the good things that are happening
I should have been more grateful
But people seldomly see good things as tests
And tests from Him too, I am sure they are

Once I learned from a friend
Trouble definitely means a test
And most of the time people seek for help
But to have achieved your targets and desires
Those are also tests from Him
And to think that you aren't being tested at all
Is the invisible test
The latters are more dangerous
Coz people do not see them coming
And people tend to forget
when they are in great wealth
or when they are not in need of help

Three weeks ago
The newspaper were filled up with Israelis attacks on Lebanon
A big column was spared for three pictures of British soldiers
Who were killed in the attack
Yet a picture of a mother carrying her small innocent son
Who died in the horrible massacre
It was just a subset of a bigger photograph of troops
Probably one twelfth of it

A week ago
The weather forecast which has always been in the third page
Was moved to page eleven
Coz more important news of the terror plan has striken the Great Britain
And the news on the massacre in middle east became inconspicuous
I wonder how do people define t.e.r.r.o.r.i.s.m
And to be affected in some ways is inevitable in here
Emotionally if not physically
Only then I again realised
How powerful and couraging
The prayer bismillahitawakkaltu'alallah is
It's amazing yet scary
If this thing happened
Only to remind me of the powerful prayer
Coz shame on me
I hadn't bear that in mind
For quite a long time

Today
Let us pray for the innocents
No matter from what background they are
Keeping in mind that
To be just is to put things the way they are supposed to
Not to protect our own best of interests

Just now
I was just thinking of updating my blog
I even thought of doing so days ago
Shame on me again I didn't
Some people say it's not good to postpone a plan
But I have my own priorities other than blogging
(I bet to sleep well is considered one of them too?)

And right now
I think that's all I have to say for now
So good night and have a good day tomorrow
Coz in Islam there is no such thing as new year's eve
Or resolution at the beginning of a new year
Indeed every single day should be celebrated
First by being thankful to be awake again
After being half dead when we sleep
=_=

WHEN THE MOORS RULED EUROPE

This short documentary describes the glorious rule of Muslim Moors in what is now Spain. A forgotten history is remembered. Kak Jua was totally right. We should have watched it before going to Spain.

ALHAMDULILLAH

I just got meself a summer job! And credits to Elly for advertising the vacancy in the mailing list, and for having recommended me for it. And most of all, I cannot help being thankful to Allah. How brilliant has He arranged everything for me. Just nice. School summer holiday has just started so I do not have to pick up Kak Ita's kids anymore. And three weeks volunteering at the shop has been marvellous - a bit dissapointed though since I am just improving my skills operating the till, and I am quitting it in a couple of days.

When I pay for stuff that I shop for, most of the times, I will hear this:

"Here's your two pounds change and your receipt. Thank you"

or

"I'll put your receipt in the bag, and here's your two quid change"

In the past two days, I had a chance to imitate that. *wink*

Back to this new job. It is a position as a notes summariser in a GP practice. I hope I will be able to cope myself with the tasks and hopefully it would not strain my eyes so much to sit in front of the computers for long hours. The best part is, that the work at least has something to do with my course. Would give me a very relevant experience indeed.

Alhamdulillah.

GREY'S ANATOMY

I did a bit of packing today and I found a square note which I wanted to throw into the bin but the scribble on the paper seems very meaningful to get rid of that way, without saving it somewhere so I thought of saving and sharing it here. The quote was from a patient with heart problem in Grey's Anatomy (can't recall his name). He said:

"I believe in heaven. If I have to choose between
this life and one in heaven, I choose heaven."

I must have found the quote rather important or interesting or full of meaning that I jotted it down on a piece of paper and pinned it on my small notice board and never took it off whenever I was cleaning out the unwanted notices on the board.

May Allah lead us to the straight path in this life, for the best rewards in the next one.

COUNTING DAYS

Today I went out with Kak Nurul to accompany her shopping for the arrival of a new baby girl insyaAllah. It turned out to be her accompanying me instead. It is summer sale in almost every store and I just had to control myself from spending too much. It was a tough determination to accomplish; a couple of skirts won't kill, will they? ***Hey, it was a bargain after all. Buy one get one free after 50% reduction*** ;-P

I had a nice day out with Kak Nurul really. And shopping for kids' stuff were so much fun. They were all so cute, more like you are playing with dolls, trying to fit the nicest dress for them, and comb their hair, and made them wear some accesories. *teringat selalu main anakkan (patung kertas) zaman kecik2 dulu. 20 sen je satu*. Anyhow, I really wish Fatin and Danish are here. Miss my favourite baby boy so much. Shopping would be much more fun if they were there!

Danish celebrating his first birthday in Malaysia

(without Auntie Iffa?? How could you??)

I thought I would go to the charity shop and do some work as usual. But I did not. I was so damn tired and did not dare to leave Kak Nurul going back on her own so I took the same bus as hers going back home. She is 36 week pregnant, and Danish was born when he was 36 weeks gestation, so it was quite worrying to let her walk alone. After performing my Zuhur prayer, I fell asleep and woke up at only half seven, so I urgently prayed Asar and ate my dinner before going to halaqah.

It was not my first time to fall asleep in the afternoon this week. It was my third time already. It was probably due to the summer weather which kept getting warm each day. Except today, it was raining for a while in the morning so the weather was just nice today. Not too warm and not too cold. Hehe, complaining the weather. Reminds me of a conversation with Farah - we are becoming more British now, always complaining about the weather.

And I won't blame the weather really. I have been out a lot, and I spent two days of the week for ice skating and beach (had fish and chips at tynemouth twice already in this week - fish and chips: still, so typical British). Ice skating was so fun, but it makes you tired. Or probably because I do not really know yet how to skate. Glad that for my last session I do not have to complete one round holding on the wall before gaining the confidence to go to the centre of the rink. I think to play tennis is much harder, although ice skating is similarly tiring. Especially for the brain. Probably because I was using up most of the energy being very conscious and trying very hard not to fall. A brilliant exercise for the cerebellum (?) I bet. Also, it so teaches me to appreciate how well has Allah created the world, that I do not have to walk on the ice, God I am so thankful for that. I just couldn't imagine wearing ice skating shoe all the time, it must be killing my feet in silence!

Ok. Back to today's activity. The halaqah. We were discussing about the tafsir of surah al-Maa'un and continued with our last unfinished topic from last week's usrah, the first element of Arkanul Bai'ah, to have a deep understanding of Islam as a way of life. I cannot recall why, but Kak Eleena mentioned a story about the pious man and a dog. For those who have not heard of the story, here goes story:

" A man was walking on a desert and he was very thirsty. He found a well and went down into it and drank. When he climbed up and came out of the well, he saw a dog, panting and eating earth out of thirst. He thought that the dog must be as thirsty as he was. so he went back down into the well, and using his shoe as a bucket, he filled in the water and then held it in is mouth until he climbed out. Then he gave the dog water."

It is a true story from a hadith (sahih bukhari and muslim if I am not mistaken) and the prophet stated that Allah had forgiven the man his sins because of his kindly act, and he will enter the paradise due to that.

Moral of the story; always be good, even to animals or plants, we are all the creations of Allah. Even dogs. Also as a reminder for myself who does not like dogs that much (I have my reasons, experienced running for being chased by dogs for quite a few times. Hehe, fell off once - shame on me!). True that for us muslims, when the dog is wet or for their faeces, we have to clean it with our "special" way. That is using one part of water from clean soil, and 6 parts of clean water (eg tap water, or rain). It sounds hard, but it is not that difficult when it comes to times you have to apply it. Reminds me of a conversation between a dog and a cow that I got as an instant message long, long time ago:

LEMBU: Hai anjing, apa habaq? Macam ada yg tak kena je?
ANJING: Aku tengah tension nih. Mau je aku gigit manusia tadi.
LEMBU : eh? kenapa?
ANJING: aku lalu tepi dua orang mansuia lelaki dan perempuan yg sedang berkepit. Tetiba si lelaki terperanjat dan terus melompat dan berkata "hoi anjing, pergi jauh2,najis!".
LEMBU: Ya, lah.ko kan haram. Najis tahap berat bagi manusia. Biasalah tu.
ANJING: Kalau aku najis sekali pon, kalau dia tersentuh aku, boleh disamak. Yang dia sentuh dan raba2 awek dia tu apa? boleh ke nak samak dosa?
LEMBU: Betul tu. Memegang wanita yg bukan mahramnya tanpa ikatan yg sah, lebih dahsyat kenajisannya daripada memegang ko anjing,malah tak boleh suci sekalipun di samak.
ANJING:wah.. ayat ko memang power la... manusia kena ubah pepatah "Pandai macam LEMBU"

Thanks to Lembu for making a clear comparison between halal haram and najis. Najis does not necessarily haram. Vice versa, haram does not necessarily means najis. Sometimes we take things for granted. Sometimes we like to complicate simple things.

So there goes another day of my summer holiday.

SERBAN

Interesting. While the muslims here are fighting for the right to wear Hijab in school, we have the serban issue in Malaysia:

1. Pelajar ditegah berserban -- Bukan sebahagian daripada pakaian seragam sekolah - Hakim
2. Serban: Islam tiada penghormatan apabila Mahkamah tolak rayuan

Hmmm...

ME IN THE SUMMER

Already a month of summer holiday. And surprisingly I do not spend as much time at home as I expected.

1. I sometimes picked up Aisyah and Azri from school (Luqman as well, but now that he's gone back to Malaysia for good really miss him, and Nasya too). And I've got their house key with me. I slept there a few times before Kak Ina moved into Ija's room. So that is my third home I guess.

2. And I've got a new temporary housemate. Not that Kak Ina is gonna stay there for a short period of time, but it is me that need to pack up my things and move out since I have given up the room to Zalehani. Too complex explanation for why have I given it up, so I better not start writing about it. But alhamdulillah, insyaAllah will be moving out into Kak Jua's (yeay! Jadi housemate Kak Jua yang comel!) --> Duk Fenham jugak akhirnya.

***Panjang umur Kak Jua, I had to pause for a moment to answer her call***

3. And I went to ISLAMEXPO which was being held at Alexandra Palace in London for four days - I only attended three. It was great and I got to know Nor, my Singaporean usrahmate while I was there. So sad that she has left for good as well, right after the expo. So, ISLAMEXPO...Most of the talks were about things that we might have always been discussing while having our tea or lunch break, or while watching the telly, or while in the bus. Palestine and Iraq issue, 7 July and September 11, Islam and terrorism (?) etc. There was one talk about Islamic school, questioning whether it is a vessel of integration or isolation. Hmm...interesting topic although they only mentioned about having Islamic faith school here in the UK. We are so lucky to have 54 (I guess, in 2001) SMKAs in Malaysia, and not to mention that all the school will have Islamic lesson as a particular subject on its own to expose the kids with the history and basic knowledge of Islam. In contrast, it sounds very hard for muslim parents here to ensure their kidsto grow up within an Islamic environment. They will need to send their kids to extra classes provided by the masjids or any Islamic organisation to gain knowledge on Islam.

And there were exhibitions and shops too at the expo.

4. I applied for paid jobs but I was being rejected for at least three times by now. Hopefully something will turn up later, although I am not that much in need of a job really. So, I am currently volunteering at a charity shop, British heart Foundation. It is quite nice. Meeting some new people and learning some new tasks - at least when I evaluate myself before I go to sleep, I do not have any regret about spending my time at home doing particularly nothing useful at all.

Everything works out fine, and I am expecting to see my Kelana Convoy friends this weekend (so called coz I met them during the trip).

ISLAMIC BIRTH DATE

Mine was 10 Ramadhan 1404. Can celebrate that after the iftar then.

Find out yours here.

A point to ponder:

On our birthdays,

should our mums give us presents

OR

should we give them gifts instead?

They have given us the gift to be born in this world, not to mention how painful does it seemed to give birth and to take care of the children until they are able to undergo the life independently. And no, it does not stop just there, I suppose.

p/s: Miss mama. Mama comel =)

WHAT'S WITH RUDENESS AND MALAYSIA?

When I read Ija's blog, I could not agree more, trust me! (Sorry Ija, I am going to copy-paste your brilliant writing my dear).

As many have been aware ,Malaysia is placed the third rudest country in a survey held by RD. Even though the survey did not encompass a wide range of tests, the result gives something for us to think about. They have included three tests- the 'door' test, to see who would readily hold the door to others, the 'document' test to look for helpful Malaysians in picking the papers on the floor and lastly the 'thank you' test to see the friendliness among the sale assistants.

Some agreed and some didn't to the very fact that Malaysians are rude, or should I say, impolite ( it sounds milder). I should say I agree, to some extent based on what I saw and what I have experienced myself. For me, Malaysians are not accustomed to giving smiles to everybody (no matter who they are ) and say out lovely expressions to the people we communicate with.

Those tests might not so much a part of our culture such as holding the door or doorlifts hence the third rudest is labelled. However, the readiness to help picking up the papers ( helping picking up anything!) and saying 'thank you' should be every person's manner in daily lives. It is a shame for us that in a survey held by a local newspaper, only two out of seven people had helped picking up the papers when the documents are purposely dropped in front of them. Some just smiled and went off, and some had given a smirk. It is not just the matter of the bad image the tourists can observe but it is also the issue of the manner among ourseleves, Malaysians.

People who has been abroad would agree with me that WEsteners are much better in terms of the communications and interactions to the publics. I walk to school everyday and I have to pass a small gate to the field. i have not encountered a single day that nobody walking in front wouldn't open the door for me. Some will just hold it even I am still far behind so I have to run so that they wont wait too long. The elderly never say 'thank you' without uttering charming words such as 'lovely', 'gorgeous', 'sweet' at the end of their sentence. Some randomly say 'hi' in the middle of the road and ask about tennis if they see that you are holding the tennis racquet.

An old man had onced wiped the cream at the corner of my mouth when I had finished eating the doughnut. And, surprise surprise, at that particular time we were queuing for the bus. He was a total stranger but for God's sake he wiped my mouth!!!``Ija selekeh`` ( It sounds creepy and I was scared but then I realised that he was so nice!!)

I am not merely comparing but it is something we should learn from the Westerners. Some might not agree with what I said and what i am going to say but different people encounter different situations, hence have different say. Some men are too afraid to be called a 'gentleman' by helping the women carrying heavy bags. I had onced carried a few large and indeed heavy luggages in a station but nobody cares to help me carrying it on the stairs. In France at one time this very gentleman helped me and friends carrying just a medium-sized bag, up to the next floor without being asked.

Lest you forget- we are claimed to be the third rudest so we definitely need a change whether the results are reliabe or not.

Courtesy call- let us practise more courtesy, put smiles on our face (hey smiling is a brilliant exercise for the facial muscles-u move 20 muscles just for smiling!!), be ready to help people in need, the least is picking up the litter and papers ;) and say 'thanks' and 'sorry' appropriately.

Let's just wait for the next survey and look where are we among the others.

ps; its good to be back. malaysia best!

I myself have experienced most of the things Ija was telling, so definitely could not agree more with her. Ouh, except for the last sentence, I totally objected that one, hihi. But, it's not that bad to be left in the UK during the summer holiday. I still do have a great time!

Although, on the other hand, of course I am not expecting a stranger especially a man to wipe my mouth, (just bear in mind that in her case, this man did not know about the limitations we have and I am sure if they do, they would have respected her as a muslim). And I do think that it would have been very weird if we translate the charming words into Malay - sayang, si manis , etc. (although what makes it weird might be due to the way people normally use those words back in Malaysia). But that should never restrict us from saying thank you or sorry, whenever appropriate.

Now that reminds me of the use of salam "Assalamualaikum". In a talk from a reliable person, he mentioned that it is not even wrong for a man to give salam to a woman (and vice versa), given that the intention is right, that is to greet people in a polite manner. In fact the salam itself is a prayer from a muslim to another. However, some do use it in a different way. I am not making this up but I am sure some of you have heard this: "Assalamualaikum...tak jawab berdosa". Was it a really sincere salam? It is this kind of behaviours that gives the perception that salam is so restricted. But please do not get me wrong here, as I was saying, it is all based on our intentions. "Tepuk dada tanyalah iman". And this does not only apply to salam. In fact everything else should be done wholeheartedly because of Allah, hoping to get the blessings from Him. And to say this is just theoretical is not totally true because Allah has sent us His messengers, so that we can learn from them, as they did make the Lillahita'ala as much practical as it should be.

One last thing that I would like to mention here is how Malaysians treat Malaysians as compared to treating the tourists (or probably to be more specific, the Caucasians). I do not know if this is just me, but I do think that some Malaysians treat the outsiders really good, giving them the best service as possible, as compared to those living in the same country. I cannot remember the address of a website quoting a typical Malaysian's behaviour. It was about a waiter. When a Malaysian comes asking for a table of a fully booked restaurant, the waiting staff would add a table near the kitchen, but when a tourist comes, he would give a table next to a window where one can view the tranquility in Allah's creation, a beautiful view of how green the earth is and a lake situated outside the restaurant. It is a good thing, but aren't Malaysians categorised as homo-sapiens as well?

Why not we reflect ourselves based on what the article has mentioned, give it a thought, and make an effort to be a better person, a better Malaysian (shall I relate this to the topic we are discussing), and the most important one, a better MUSLIM?

ALONE

That's right. I am alone in home.

Three weeks gone in a snap.

In those three weeks time, right after the exam, I have no time to be alone on my own. I couldn't even see my room's carpet coz the room was full of people. I even have to sleep in Ija's room. But now, my room seems to be very empty, also very big and has lots of space.

And all other rooms in the house are empty too. No occupiers. =(

Gonna have to find a new house to stay anyway. Hmm...

JAPANESE SECRET

Another lecture slide from the LSE - now only wanna put these things on the blog, a very obvious proof of last minute study. (I always hate last minute study, but I have always done it indeed, arrrghhhhh).


Just thought someone might wanna try this (well, I haven't).

p/s: Ape pun, ajal maut di tangan Allah.

EXAM

Below is the examinations timetable for 2nd year medical students in the Newcastle University:

Tuesday, 23 May 2006
OSCPE

Wednesday, 24 May 2006
EMI

Thursday, 25 May 2006
DIT

These exams (and another assignment results) would determine whether we will be allowed to go on to the next clinical year stage.

Hoping to get help from Allah, ar-Rahman and ar-Rahim.

Pray for our success!

THE STONE BABY

I was revising my lecture notes on the LSE and stumbled across this picture.

Yes. I know it is not a nice pleasant picture to look at, but let us all take some time to thank Allah that we were not born in this condition. (Stone baby is due to dystrophic calcification).

Not to mention the so many disease I have came across, only being two years in the medical school, insyaAllah the more we learn how Allah has given us our best conditions, the more we will appreciate the health as one of the nikmat. Well, we will never realise how we appreciate things until we lose them, right? Let's always appreciate His nikmat and blessings.