Today I was so upset and greatly reminded of the World of Courtesy ranking, produced by Reader's Digest four years ago. According to the ranking, which might not be accurate at all, Kuala Lumpur i.e. Malaysia is ranked the third least courteous country out of 35 cities of different countries included in the RD's global courtesy test.
A sudden regret fulfilled me for a while - I am not sure whether it was a regret of being a Malaysian, or being surrounded by majority of non courteous people where you cannot make a difference. Or a regret of not staying and work in the UK , and not even applied for a job there. Whatever it is, I feel guilty for having this regret, but it surely does bring back nice memories and life back in the UK, where everything seemed so easy and approachable. And the courtesy was at its most. I have been to most of the European countries and I think UK is still the best at courtesy.
Let me go through and see the differences:
In buildings with doors
UK
I was walking 5-10 steps behind someone before reaching to a double door, and that someone I never knew would turn back to see if anyone was at the back, smile and keep the door opened until I reached the door, that sometimes I had to walk really fast to not make them wait for too long.
Here
I was walking just behind someone's bum, even worse someone that I know who realised I was right behind them, and we were just about to enter a door with him/her right in front of me, and then....'bamm'. The door shut. Right in front of my face.
When you are in need a favour
UK
People would ask politely, with the nice "Do you mind....." or "can you help me with....." at the start and the magic word PLEASE at the end. Even when the favour asker was a specialist asking for some help from a medical student. And help is at your tip of finger, especially if the favour you are asking is totally the responsibility of the person you are asking the favour from.
Here
If you ask for a favour nicely, there is the slightest chance of you being entertained quickly and nicely. Even if sometimes it is supposed to be their job. Most of the time you have to ask them three times then either do it yourself or start shouting and complaining (then people will complain about you to the boss). Believe me, giving instructions, or telling people to do something with a raised voice gets the attention better. I have this one colleague who always give instructions instead of asking properly, and 'favour' done as instructed.
Hey, what is wrong with being courteous? Maybe they like instructions better.
At the workplace
UK
If a doctor needs to perform a procedure, a nurse will be around (we call them dirty nurse) so to help us keep sterile while they can get things for us. Even when I was a medical student, I get my own dirty nurse to insert a catheter.
Here
Me (in sterile condition needing another catheter of different size as I failed to insert two different sizes that I already prepared myself together with the catheterisation set) : Akak, boleh tak tolong amik CBD saiz 12 tak? Tolong eh kak, tengah sterile ni. Translate: Miss, can you please get me another size of catheter, size 12 please, I am currently steriled (shouting at 3am to the ***** who was gossiping at the counter, who were supposed to prepare the set after nicely being asked, twice.
***** (went to get the catheter that I asked for): Nah. Translate: Here you go (putting it on the trolley, without even bother to empty the sterile catheter into the sterile area, then went back to gossiping).
Don't I deserve a chaperone, even if you don't want to help me preapring the stuff or be my dirty nurse?
*ooops, I think this is a complaint already aye?
On the road
UK
I am not a good driver, but driving in the UK was way much easier. Imagine you were turning right at a T junction or you were changing lanes. Even if it was not too busy, they will flash their headlights to mean that "you go on. I will slow down for you".
After you give way to people, they will flash their headlight twice implying "thanks", and not enough with that, they will put up the hand, mumbling thanks, again to show their gratitude. And you will put your hand up, mumbling "you're welcome, glad to help".
Here
If somebody flashes the headlights, it means "It's my road. Don't you dare take over. I am speeding, can't you see?" I don't even dare to flash my lights to give way if I see someone is coming out of a junction I am turning into, just in case they misunderstand. So you see, there's no room to be courteous. You just cannot be humble on the road.
I was not in rush and let those from the front to pass first at the guard at entrance of my house, and I hardly get a hand showing thanks. Don't bother the lights.
And when I was grateful that people waited for me to pass the guard and put up my hand of gratitude, they just stared. Oh how I miss the courtesy of driving in the UK.
At the parking lots
UK
Disabled parking lots are really meant for the DISABLED. And the disabled people do come out and enjoy their life even if they have to use wheelchair to move. The buses are even properly designed for them so they can travel easier.
Here
SOOO many disabled people (parking for the disabled are always, always full), but I think most disabled people are usually stucked at their house and the only place they usually visit is the hospital.
And the ones below.... I cut and paste from Iris' blog, a good friend at the university, who is currently working in Selangor and just entered O&G department:
In encouraging labour
A sudden regret fulfilled me for a while - I am not sure whether it was a regret of being a Malaysian, or being surrounded by majority of non courteous people where you cannot make a difference. Or a regret of not staying and work in the UK , and not even applied for a job there. Whatever it is, I feel guilty for having this regret, but it surely does bring back nice memories and life back in the UK, where everything seemed so easy and approachable. And the courtesy was at its most. I have been to most of the European countries and I think UK is still the best at courtesy.
Let me go through and see the differences:
In buildings with doors
UK
I was walking 5-10 steps behind someone before reaching to a double door, and that someone I never knew would turn back to see if anyone was at the back, smile and keep the door opened until I reached the door, that sometimes I had to walk really fast to not make them wait for too long.
Here
I was walking just behind someone's bum, even worse someone that I know who realised I was right behind them, and we were just about to enter a door with him/her right in front of me, and then....'bamm'. The door shut. Right in front of my face.
When you are in need a favour
UK
People would ask politely, with the nice "Do you mind....." or "can you help me with....." at the start and the magic word PLEASE at the end. Even when the favour asker was a specialist asking for some help from a medical student. And help is at your tip of finger, especially if the favour you are asking is totally the responsibility of the person you are asking the favour from.
Here
If you ask for a favour nicely, there is the slightest chance of you being entertained quickly and nicely. Even if sometimes it is supposed to be their job. Most of the time you have to ask them three times then either do it yourself or start shouting and complaining (then people will complain about you to the boss). Believe me, giving instructions, or telling people to do something with a raised voice gets the attention better. I have this one colleague who always give instructions instead of asking properly, and 'favour' done as instructed.
Hey, what is wrong with being courteous? Maybe they like instructions better.
At the workplace
UK
If a doctor needs to perform a procedure, a nurse will be around (we call them dirty nurse) so to help us keep sterile while they can get things for us. Even when I was a medical student, I get my own dirty nurse to insert a catheter.
Here
Me (in sterile condition needing another catheter of different size as I failed to insert two different sizes that I already prepared myself together with the catheterisation set) : Akak, boleh tak tolong amik CBD saiz 12 tak? Tolong eh kak, tengah sterile ni. Translate: Miss, can you please get me another size of catheter, size 12 please, I am currently steriled (shouting at 3am to the ***** who was gossiping at the counter, who were supposed to prepare the set after nicely being asked, twice.
***** (went to get the catheter that I asked for): Nah. Translate: Here you go (putting it on the trolley, without even bother to empty the sterile catheter into the sterile area, then went back to gossiping).
Don't I deserve a chaperone, even if you don't want to help me preapring the stuff or be my dirty nurse?
*ooops, I think this is a complaint already aye?
On the road
UK
I am not a good driver, but driving in the UK was way much easier. Imagine you were turning right at a T junction or you were changing lanes. Even if it was not too busy, they will flash their headlights to mean that "you go on. I will slow down for you".
After you give way to people, they will flash their headlight twice implying "thanks", and not enough with that, they will put up the hand, mumbling thanks, again to show their gratitude. And you will put your hand up, mumbling "you're welcome, glad to help".
Here
If somebody flashes the headlights, it means "It's my road. Don't you dare take over. I am speeding, can't you see?" I don't even dare to flash my lights to give way if I see someone is coming out of a junction I am turning into, just in case they misunderstand. So you see, there's no room to be courteous. You just cannot be humble on the road.
I was not in rush and let those from the front to pass first at the guard at entrance of my house, and I hardly get a hand showing thanks. Don't bother the lights.
And when I was grateful that people waited for me to pass the guard and put up my hand of gratitude, they just stared. Oh how I miss the courtesy of driving in the UK.
At the parking lots
UK
Disabled parking lots are really meant for the DISABLED. And the disabled people do come out and enjoy their life even if they have to use wheelchair to move. The buses are even properly designed for them so they can travel easier.
Here
SOOO many disabled people (parking for the disabled are always, always full), but I think most disabled people are usually stucked at their house and the only place they usually visit is the hospital.
And the ones below.... I cut and paste from Iris' blog, a good friend at the university, who is currently working in Selangor and just entered O&G department:
England
Midwife: Come on, push. Good girl. Push. You can do it. Push. You're doing very well. Just bear down. No, you're pushing the wrong way. Bear down. Push. Yes, gooood girl. You're doing reeeally well.
Here
MO: Push, push, push, push, PUSHHH. What are you doing? You're not pushing! You want the baby to die? If something wrong with the baby, it's on you. Push. Do you understand ar? How many times I must tell you?? EYYY, don't push to your face..see, flushed already.. haiya... DON'T LIFT UP YOUR BUTTOCKKKK!!
On the welfare of the juniors
England
During handovers amongs specialists and senior doctors, there are always cups of tea that you can have...with some biscuits..someone might bring their homemade cake to share. And I was only a medical student then. And the cups of tea flow endlessly. From 3rd year to final year. Made for you. By nurses.
Here
The Biggest Stitch: (On the suggestion to increase the number of beds for oncall house officers to sleep on) Actually I don't think housemen should sleep at all. It's good enough if you can sleep straight up in a chair. Or bring your own camping gear and camp in the parking lot. You think oncalls are for sleeping?? During my time............ etc.
Ego
England
When you gave the wrong answer to a pretty basic question:
Consultant: No, I don't think so. Try again.
Here
When you gave the right answer to a pretty basic question:
Specialist: [stare at you after your answer] Some more?
Me: Erm.. can't think anymore
Specialist: [to colleague] Read out your list of answers (prepared beforehand)
Colleagues: bla bla including the answer I gave earlier
Specialist: Why didn't you say that answer?
Me: I did!
Colleague: She did.
Others: Yeah. She did.
Specialist: No, I didn't hear it. Oh no, it's because I caught you cheating. You shouldn't be spoonfed. That's why I didn't count that answer.
Me: ????
*LOL on the labour room situation* She is in Selangor and exactly the same words are being used, I can imagine. Can you see, it is happening not only at my place, but also at other city. I bet if you go to the north, or south or West of Malaysia, in general, the situation would most likely be the same. Oh how encouraging we are!
I won't deny that I am also losing the courtesy, I wish I won't. And I blame the environment. Tell me, am I guilty for missing UK so much?
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