As many have been aware ,Malaysia is placed the third rudest country in a survey held by RD. Even though the survey did not encompass a wide range of tests, the result gives something for us to think about. They have included three tests- the 'door' test, to see who would readily hold the door to others, the 'document' test to look for helpful Malaysians in picking the papers on the floor and lastly the 'thank you' test to see the friendliness among the sale assistants.
Some agreed and some didn't to the very fact that Malaysians are rude, or should I say, impolite ( it sounds milder). I should say I agree, to some extent based on what I saw and what I have experienced myself. For me, Malaysians are not accustomed to giving smiles to everybody (no matter who they are ) and say out lovely expressions to the people we communicate with.
Those tests might not so much a part of our culture such as holding the door or doorlifts hence the third rudest is labelled. However, the readiness to help picking up the papers ( helping picking up anything!) and saying 'thank you' should be every person's manner in daily lives. It is a shame for us that in a survey held by a local newspaper, only two out of seven people had helped picking up the papers when the documents are purposely dropped in front of them. Some just smiled and went off, and some had given a smirk. It is not just the matter of the bad image the tourists can observe but it is also the issue of the manner among ourseleves, Malaysians.
People who has been abroad would agree with me that WEsteners are much better in terms of the communications and interactions to the publics. I walk to school everyday and I have to pass a small gate to the field. i have not encountered a single day that nobody walking in front wouldn't open the door for me. Some will just hold it even I am still far behind so I have to run so that they wont wait too long. The elderly never say 'thank you' without uttering charming words such as 'lovely', 'gorgeous', 'sweet' at the end of their sentence. Some randomly say 'hi' in the middle of the road and ask about tennis if they see that you are holding the tennis racquet.
An old man had onced wiped the cream at the corner of my mouth when I had finished eating the doughnut. And, surprise surprise, at that particular time we were queuing for the bus. He was a total stranger but for God's sake he wiped my mouth!!!``Ija selekeh`` ( It sounds creepy and I was scared but then I realised that he was so nice!!)
I am not merely comparing but it is something we should learn from the Westerners. Some might not agree with what I said and what i am going to say but different people encounter different situations, hence have different say. Some men are too afraid to be called a 'gentleman' by helping the women carrying heavy bags. I had onced carried a few large and indeed heavy luggages in a station but nobody cares to help me carrying it on the stairs. In France at one time this very gentleman helped me and friends carrying just a medium-sized bag, up to the next floor without being asked.
Lest you forget- we are claimed to be the third rudest so we definitely need a change whether the results are reliabe or not.
Courtesy call- let us practise more courtesy, put smiles on our face (hey smiling is a brilliant exercise for the facial muscles-u move 20 muscles just for smiling!!), be ready to help people in need, the least is picking up the litter and papers ;) and say 'thanks' and 'sorry' appropriately.
ps; its good to be back. malaysia best!
I myself have experienced most of the things Ija was telling, so definitely could not agree more with her. Ouh, except for the last sentence, I totally objected that one, hihi. But, it's not that bad to be left in the UK during the summer holiday. I still do have a great time!
Although, on the other hand, of course I am not expecting a stranger especially a man to wipe my mouth, (just bear in mind that in her case, this man did not know about the limitations we have and I am sure if they do, they would have respected her as a muslim). And I do think that it would have been very weird if we translate the charming words into Malay - sayang, si manis , etc. (although what makes it weird might be due to the way people normally use those words back in Malaysia). But that should never restrict us from saying thank you or sorry, whenever appropriate.
Now that reminds me of the use of salam "Assalamualaikum". In a talk from a reliable person, he mentioned that it is not even wrong for a man to give salam to a woman (and vice versa), given that the intention is right, that is to greet people in a polite manner. In fact the salam itself is a prayer from a muslim to another. However, some do use it in a different way. I am not making this up but I am sure some of you have heard this: "Assalamualaikum...tak jawab berdosa". Was it a really sincere salam? It is this kind of behaviours that gives the perception that salam is so restricted. But please do not get me wrong here, as I was saying, it is all based on our intentions. "Tepuk dada tanyalah iman". And this does not only apply to salam. In fact everything else should be done wholeheartedly because of Allah, hoping to get the blessings from Him. And to say this is just theoretical is not totally true because Allah has sent us His messengers, so that we can learn from them, as they did make the Lillahita'ala as much practical as it should be.
One last thing that I would like to mention here is how Malaysians treat Malaysians as compared to treating the tourists (or probably to be more specific, the Caucasians). I do not know if this is just me, but I do think that some Malaysians treat the outsiders really good, giving them the best service as possible, as compared to those living in the same country. I cannot remember the address of a website quoting a typical Malaysian's behaviour. It was about a waiter. When a Malaysian comes asking for a table of a fully booked restaurant, the waiting staff would add a table near the kitchen, but when a tourist comes, he would give a table next to a window where one can view the tranquility in Allah's creation, a beautiful view of how green the earth is and a lake situated outside the restaurant. It is a good thing, but aren't Malaysians categorised as homo-sapiens as well?
Why not we reflect ourselves based on what the article has mentioned, give it a thought, and make an effort to be a better person, a better Malaysian (shall I relate this to the topic we are discussing), and the most important one, a better MUSLIM?
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