RAHMA

I bought this CD so that I can play it in the car while driving around at least 35 miles every weekdays of my placement in Wansbeck General Hospital. Yes, I have to buy the original CD - the CD player apparently only accept ori ones.

It was worth the money. I like all of of the nasyeed in this album. Not a lot, only eight. But all have very deep meaning - and just today, I was paying attention to the lyrics of the fifth track (I think) - knowledge is light. Hit me straight to the heart.

Shakautu ila Waki` su'a hifdhi
wa arshada-ni an tark al-ma`asi
wa akhbara-ni bi anna ilman nur
wa nur Allah la yu`ta al-`as

The great Imam ash-Shafi', he went to his teacher Waki`
Complaining about the weakness of his memory.
He told him, 'abandon rebellion, for knowledge is a light
And the light of Allah is not bestowed upon a rebel.'

It is so frustrating to read the same topic all over again, yet not to be able to answer or explain when being asked about it. Very, very frustrating. Please help us all, Allah.

My CURRENT FAVOURITE NASYID

Kalimatan habibatan ila ar-Rahman
Khafifatan `ala al-lisan, thaqilatan fi al-mizan

Subhanallahi wa bi hamdih, subhanallahi al-azim

"There are two phrases which are beloved of the Most Merciful, light on the tongue, yet heavy on the scales (of reward): glory be to Allah and all praise to Him, glory be to Allah, the Mighty."

MY IMPORTANT DATES

STAGE 5 (MBBS)
EXAMINATION FOR THE DEGREES OF
BACHELOR OF MEDICINE AND BACHELOR OF SURGERY

Provisional Timetable

JUNE 2009

Friday 5 June 2009
9:00 AM OSCE


Thursday 11 June 2009
2:00 PM Paper 1


Friday 12 June 2009
2:00 PM Paper 2


Tuesday 16 June 2009
8:00 AM MOSLER

Wednesday 17 June 2009
3:00 PM Pass list published to LSE and noticeboard

As usual, please please pray for our success, may that be the best for us. Congratulations to those who have already passed your finals - I have to admit I am so jealous (but happy too) for you guys and girls. I can hardly wait for this to finish, yet I am very reluctant to sit for the exams considering the very little knowledge stored in my brain now.

Pray that we will put our best effort in this before leaving the decision solely to Him, and pray that we will accept whatever the results are.

***panic attack has now begun***

THE HIPPOCRATIC OATH

I swear by Apollo the healer, by Aesculapius, by Health and all the powers of healing, and call to witness all the gods and goddesses that I may keep this Oath and Promise to the best of my ability and judgement.

I will pay the same respect to my master in the Science as to my parents and share my life with him and pay all my debts to him. I will regard his sons as my brothers and teach them the Science, if they desire to learn it, without fee or contract. I will hand on precepts, lectures and all other learning to my sons, to those of my master and to those pupils duly apprenticed and sworn, and to none other.

I will use my power to help the sick to the best of my ability and judgement; I will abstain from harming or wronging any man by it.

I will not give a fatal draught to anyone if I am asked, nor will I suggest any such thing. Neither will I give a woman means to procure an abortion.

I will be chaste and religious in my life and in my practice.

I will not cut, even for the stone, but I will leave such procedures to the practitioners of that craft.

Whenever I go into a house, I will go to help the sick and never with the intention of doing harm or injury. I will not abuse my position to indulge in sexual contacts with the bodies of women or of men, whether they be freemen or slaves.

Whatever I see or hear, professionally or privately, which ought not to be divulged, I will keep secret and tell no one.

If, therefore, I observe this Oath and do not violate it, may I prosper both in my life and in my profession, earning good repute among all men for my time. If I transgress and forswear this oath, may my lot be otherwise.

ps: for medical students, this might be part of your job interview questions.

THE WAR

Balai Newcastle organised a wonderful program last weekend and one of the activities was paint balling. I have always wanted to play it to be honest. I thought of not playing while on my way as I was soooooo tired and exhausted I couldn't describe it, and I arrived there a bit late too. And I do not like the fact that they put us as a mixed team (girls and boys). But the moment Amni came up to me and told me that she just realised that she is actually not brave enough to be in the war, then I too wanted to feel and know how brave I am. So I played one last game and my group was left with only a few bullets.

I did achieve my objective of playing - I now know I seriouslly am not that brave. Of course I can give excuse that it was my first game, I had no clues how to play it when everybody else was immensed with the game. Only after that I had that adrenaline rush of wanting to go back and fight as much as I can, get the strategy on route etc, and that was only when I knew it was not so painful being hit by the paintballs. Otherwise, I believe I'd still be scared to death.

Before playing, I was a real coward. When I test my first shot, I saw and heard how hard the fake bullets hit the target and I was damn worried if they were going to hurt and bruise me. The trembles, the worries, the panics etc - I seriously can't describe it in words. I can flashback my act during that fake war in my head now and I hate myself for being such a coward.

At one point during the short game, I wondered if it was a real war. I started to imagine that it was the war in Gaza and I was left with only some bullets to be used PRN. How frightening that would be!!! And paintballing was nothing as compared to real war - the most horrible thing you can get out of it are short term stinging pain or worse, bruisings that will eventually heal (unless it is your time to die at that time anyway); but in real war, you know if you go out and careless and have nothing to protect you, it is death that you are looking forward to. I repeat, D.E.A.T.H.

No wonder Allah lifts up those who went to war because of Him. No wonder it was not easy for the munafiqun to be in the war during the past time. No wonder those who went for Badar were promised the jannah. I am amazed with all of them. I am amazed with the people in Gaza, the people in Palestine, in Iraq, elsewhere - I am amazed with the kids there - they have no weapons and they are really brave, throwing the small stones toward sthe illegal occupants when they are facing the heartless soldier holding real machineguns, knowing the bullets could go through their heads anytime. May be they have no world to live for anyway, so they are never afraid of the death which hopefully will lead them to the eternal lives.

I guess there is no such word as empathy, as you can never really be in someone's shoes and fit in the way that person is putting them on. Even if you be in their shoes for three days, a week, a year. I really don't think it is possible. But of course the least thing we can do is to show empathy and help praying for them. I just hope that I am not going to back up if I am going to be in that situation.

Let alone the physical war, we have to bear in mind there is a war that all muslims are facing now and that is the mind war with very obscured booby traps we can fall into - I can hardly face it and work my way through if I don't have people reminding me to be on the best path, always. And other than that, I am struggling to concentrate on the war in my student world - my exams is in 2 months time (plus minus). Pray for the best for me, please!

ps: after exams, paintballing again? girls only though (it will never be fun playing whilst being conscious to make sure you do not run into a guy, even harder when you have no idea who are behind the masks).

UDARA DALAM PARU-PARU?

'Pneumothorax' ialah udara yang terperangkap di sebelah paru-paru. Kebanyakan kes berlaku secara spontan (tiada sebab yang dikenalpasti) kepada lelaki belia yang sihat walafiat. kadang-kadang ia berlaku disebabkan oleh kecederaan pada bahagian dada ataupun disebabkan oleh penyakit paru-paru yang telah sedia ada, contohnya lelah (asthma). Simptom yang biasa adalah sakit dada yang tiba-tiba dan sangat spesifik di mana anda boleh tudingkan dengan jari anda di mana anda rasa sakit tersebut. Kadang-kadang sakit dada terasa bila anda menarik nafas, kadang-kadang anda boleh jadi lelah (tidak cukup nafas atau susah bernafas). Kebiasaannya, penumothorax tidak memerlukan rawatan selain daripada ubat tahan sakit seperti paracetamol (panadol). Jika perlu, doktor anda akan berbincang tentang rawatan lain.

Satu ketika dulu saya pernah tulis tentang penyakit talasemia dalam bahasa melayu. Ramai juga yang buka entry tersebut, mungkin disebabkan kurangnya website lain yang menerangkan tentang penyakit-penyakit fizikal dalam bahasa kebangsaan saya.

Sepanjang bergelar pelajar perubatan, memang saya sering ditanya tentang penyakit-penyakit oleh sahabat-sahabat dan sanak saudara, walaupun banyak kali rasanya tak mampu untuk saya terangkan dengan baik, tapi inilah hakikatnya - hidup sebagai seorang pelajar medik - soalan-soalan begini sangat common dan akan common untuk sepanjang hidup saya.

Sebentar tadi, saya telah ditegur oleh seorang sahabat yang bertanyakan tentang penyakit 'udara dalam paru-paru'. Saya copy dan tampal perbualan tadi kalau-kalau ada yang ada soalan yang sama, inilah jawapan ala-kadar saya yang hanyalah seorang pelajar perubatan.

t: assalamualaikum
iffa: wslm wbt
t: kalu x bz, nak tanye sket ttg hal2 medic
iffa: boleh nsyaAllah
x: tau tentang sakit, paru2 masuk angin?
t: ada udara dlm paru2
iffa: pneumothorax?
iffa: ye kot
iffa: tu je yg buleh fikir
iffa: ye kenapa ngan ade angin
t: camne bleh terjadi nya udara masuk dlm paru2 ye
iffa:t ke yg kene
iffa: byk sbb dia
t: x, adik ana
iffa: lelaki?
t: ye
iffa: ade asthma?
iffa: ie lelah?
t: setau ana xde
iffa: spontaneous biasanya
iffa: kalau young male
iffa: 20-30
x: aa.. dr 2 kat sini pon ckp camtu jgk
x: menyebabkan kami adik beradik x dpt bertanye lebih lanjut
iffa: http://www.patient.co.uk/showdoc/23069039/
t: camne bleh jadi spontan?
t: x paham..
iffa: rasanya dia panggil spontaneous
iffa: sbb tak jumpa sebab dia lagi
iffa: mungkin satu hari nnt jumpa dah x panggil tu la
iffa: takleh nak explain and kaitkan dengan apa
iffa: so far spontaneous ni sgt common esp in male 20-30 yr
iffa: dia dapat chest drain tak?
t: maksudnye?
t: tebuk lubang ke?
iffa: aah
iffa: nk keluarkan angin tu
iffa: oo lagi satu smoking tak
t: x
t: x merokok
t: so besanye treatment camne?
iffa: depends on symptoms
t: tebuk lubang, dan salurkan keluar..
iffa: kalau kecik je takde symptom eg shortness of breath
iffa: chest pain
iffa: biasenya bg pain killer je
iffa: seminggu lagi xray dah takde pape
iffa: tapi kalau makin teruk patutnya buat drain tu la
t: adik ana kena kali kedua
t: dah lebih 2 minggu, dr suspek ade leakage
iffa: die ade symptoms tak
iffa: ke dr tahu tu tru chest xray je
t: simpton and xray
t: dah 3 kali xray, tgh xde perubahan dalm paru2, udara mcm sama je kandungannya
t: jika kena buat opration, camne ye prosedurnye?
t: operation yang besar ke?
iffa: yg tu tak sure sgt
iffa: takpenah experience surgery ni
iffa: so taktau
iffa: chest drain dulu la patutnya
iffa: before surgery
iffa: keluarkan dulu angin tu
iffa: unless kalau mmg dr tu rasa buat surgery terus
iffa: masa surgeyr tu terus buang angin tu
t: dr ckp mmg bocor, bila tgk xray
t: cuma kena scan, nak confirmkan bocor katne
t: based on site yg iffa bg td, ada 2 kaedah buat opertion
t: yg 1, remove 'bleb', bleb tu ape?
iffa: bleb tu mcm bulla
iffa: aduh
iffa: camne nak cakap aa
iffa: die macam patutnya str8 je lung surface tu
iffa: tapi macam ade balloon out
iffa: kalau kat kulit tu mcm blister
iffa: blister = ??kulit yg ade air kat dlm
iffa: mcm kalau tangna kena air panas tu
t: oo
t: ok la, tima kasih kerana sudi explain

Mungkin tak membantu. Paling penting, tanyalah doktor anda, kerana selain Allah al-'Alim yang pastinya Maha Mengetahui, doktor yang merawat anda lah yang ahli dalam situasi tersebut.

[ada satu ayat quran yang cakap tanyalah orang yang ahli jika kamu tidak mengetahui...tapi tak ingat ayat mana]

DISCLAIMER:

1. Penerangan di atas adalah tentang 'pneumothorax' yang bermaksud 'udara di antara 2 lapisan paru-paru' yang mana 'udara dalam paru-paru' adalah sedikit misleading. Mungkin penyakit 'udara dalam paru-paru' yang dimaksudkan oleh 't' adalah penyakit lain, jadi mohon dimaklumkan jika istilah tersebut tidak sama dengan pneumothorax.

2. ID YM sahabat saya itu saya tukarkan dengan 't' untuk tidak breach confidentiality.

3. DO NOT rely solely for information on this post, especially the surgery bit. Tanyalah doktor anda.

4. Maaf, bahasa rojak. ada yang ambil masa lama sangat nak translate.

muhasabah: am i really a final yr student? and am i ready to go back to malaysia? and will i be able to give good explanation to patients, in malay? eee cuak. nak pass exam tapi cuak nak start keje. tak sabar nak start keje tapi takut tak dapat jadi doktor yang bes.

COMMUNICATION IS AMAZING

Last winter, we (yes, 12 of us, as in the picture) went to Turkey. The one thing I thought was amazing is the communication. Frankly speaking, I think I spoke Malay more than English when I talked to the people there, and obviously I used Malay more with my 11 Malaysian friends that went with me. Not that they were able to understand Malay, but I guess unless you know their language, it will not make any difference to what language we use up there. Most of them do not speak English. Istanbul was ok, but Bursa? Although I like Bursa people more - they definitely are more friendly, in general.

It was amazing. I guess sign language became the most significant mean of communication while we were there. Writing and drawing too! There are few other things I learned for my own reflections, but in this entry, the focus is just on how amazing communication is.

Anyway, the funny bit was when we were communicating with the taxi drivers who were about to bring us to Uludag. There were eight of us talking in Malay and English and a group of friendly taxi drivers trying hard to understand what we were negotiating. At one point, Aina asked them something about the timing in Turkish language, as she happened to know that word (I can hardly remember the word now). And I can still remember all the taxi drivers came closer with hands indicating to their watches, answering enthusiastically to Aina's question - I supposed. Those delighted faces... it was as if they were saying "finally, there is someone who can speak Turkish". The hilarious part was when Aina made a blurry face (obviously she didn't understand a word they were saying), so she turned around looking at the rest of us, and we started laughing. Then the taxi drivers started laughing as well. They knew Aina didn't understand that - again, I supposed. LOL. That was hilarious. And it was just amazing how the communication worked, but it did!

The picture on your left was to tell that we needed two taxis and to confirm the charge was 120 lira for each taxi for a return journey. The other one was to tell them "we are not going to pay you until you bring us back here and we want to stay there for a while, taking pictures". Taking pictures - although we actually ended up skiing; or at least learning how hard trying to ski was =P. By the way, the taxi drivers actually understood what we were saying before we even drew these pictures. Amazing! (ouh, and these were not the real drawings - I must have thrown them away)

"O men! Behold, We have created you all out of a male and a female, and have made you into nations and tribes, so that you might come to know one another. Verily, the noblest of you in the sight of God is the one who is most deeply conscious of Him. Behold, God is all-knowing, all-aware."

[Hujurat; 13]

KEEN REMINDER FOR MESELF

Yahya related to me from Malik from Ibn Shihab from Said ibn al-Musayyab from Abu Hurayra that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said:

“A strong person is not the person who throws his adversaries to the ground. A strong person is the person who contains himself when he is angry.”

{Book 47, Number 3:12 : Malik’s Muwatta}

But angry for the right reason is ok, right? Like getting angry when seeing Palestinian people being killed every day. I do agree though, that one should still contain him/herself appropriately... and that is really hard in practice. Seriously need to be really strong.

PALESTINE

May I begin this entry with a question to myself; if I am now in Malaysia, would I ever know or even care enough to discuss the current world issue - Zionist attack on Gaza?

Honestly I doubt that I will. The reason is partly due to my ignorance [read: individuals] of course, but the media is another.

I remember back in summer 2 years ago, when the war in Iraq was the current headline of the news - front page of one of the mainstream newspapers focused on Siti Nurhaliza's wedding instead. *sigh* And especially now, with all the political war and problems in Malaysia and small election in my hometown, I bet that it shed the news even more? Make it as small matter that is easily dismissed in our lives. well, at least, the government does allow the students to go on with demonstration (read: without FRU as the prev demos), so thats a good start.

Although I might not be one who is suitable and perfect to promote this,but may I remind and promote to all including myself, to go against ignorance. We muslims are one - their sufferings are ours too.

Hadith: Sesiapa yang berpagi-pagian tidak mengambil berat perihal orang Islam maka dia bukan dari golongan mereka. [taksure source]

And of course we can talk about it, we can watch from a distant, we can read the news, we can condemn the zionist and their illegal occupation, their illegal state... but there are always better options which might seem small efforts, but at least these ARE some efforts.

1. Doa of course
2. Online action - petitions etc
3. Media - eg reply to bias report
4. Dakwah - tell other people, let them too take actions, let the people out there know the truth.
5. funding action - they need money,they need financial support,they need medical treatment
6. Boycott - one might say this would do nothing, but if everybody plays action,it might. Allah looksat the effort and not the effect. Some groups of people here too seem to agree that it wont do any good,but they came up with resolution that we should focus on the top 10 israeli goods: Coca cola, MacDonalds, Nestle, Nokia, Starbucks, Disney,Johnson's johnson, L'Oreal, Selfridges.

It is a shame if at this crucial time, we cant help boycotting. I have seen even the christian society stood up in front of mark and spencer entry, giving flyers to the people around, promoting the boycott. Apparently, according to them, ALL the net profit gained on saturday by mark and spencer is distributed to Israel. So yes, it is a shame.

Pernah dengar ayat ni (taksure hadith ke famous saying): Islam itu terdiri dari banyak penjuru. Tugas setiap kita adalah untuk menjaga Islam itu supaya tidak diceroboh dari penjuru kita. (lebih kurang camni la maksud dia, or please anyone care enough to correct me).


Ya Allah tuhan yang menewaskan bala tentera ahzab, kalahkan mereka musuh-musuh Islam, menangkanlah kami umat-umat di jalanmu ke atas mereka ya Allah. Selamatkan dan tabahkanlah mereka di Gaza, di Palestin. Ameen.

LEARNING FROM THE KIDS [again]

Yesterday, Balai Malaysia (Malay community in Newcastle) had organised its first camp for the children - it was Kem Pemantapan Solat i.e. a four hour course to teach children how to pray and improve their prayers.

When those children were asked why do we have to pray, some of the answers were:

1. Because we are muslims
2. Because Allah asks us to pray
3. Because this is the way we thank Allah as he created us
4. Because we must do good things and want to enter heaven

[source: balai mailinglist]

And masyaAllah, one of them answered because we want to save GAZA people.

And I asked the students in my group to list up three things they like the most, because they can have them all in heaven if they do good things. At least one of these came up their list:

1. Allah
2. Rasulullah
3. Parents

Ya Allah, I am so proud of them. Mind you, they were all 6 and 7 years old (those in my groups), and the whole group of children was comprised of those from age of 4 - 12.

When I was asked to list up 3 things that make me happy in one of my p4p sessions, I listed down the 3Fs - family and friends, and food. Also money hehe (I was so broke). Shame on me.

Save people in Gaza, and Allah and rasulullah on top of the list. What more can I tell you. Learn from them. The little caliphs...

LEARNING FROM EVERYONE

When I went to Kak Rabitah's room (my housemate with two brilliant daughters) last night, she asked me if I wanted to hear Athirah's story (that's her younger daughter. We call her Adik). I know Adik is very good at writing, she has read me really good poems that she made herself! I think that is so amazing.

So this was what happened.

That night Adik asked her mummy to make up a story for her but her mum said that she is not good at making up stories. Her mummy told her that God has given her the gift of Maths and Science, but when it comes to stories, her brain gets a bit dodgy and she will get stuck. Then Adik was asked if she could make up a story for her mummy, and here was hers (somewhat):

One day there was a flock of birds flapping their wings in the sky. But one bird just flapped his right wing only. His left wing was heavy and he did not want to use it. But one day, his right wing got hurt and it could not make any move. He packed and packed his right wing, trying hard to move it but he still couldn't. The other birds all ask him to "use your left wing, use your left wing" and he refused for a long time but then he could not stand it anymore and flapped his left wing. He found that he could fly higher with his left wing.

Kak Rabitah said she did not get it at first and asked, "so what?".

Adik said "it is about you mama. It is the moral of the story. You should use your literacy part of your brain and you might write wonderful stories with it."

It hit her mummy straight in the heart, and it hits me too, again and again. This is the third time I think I can burst into tears, thinking about Adik's story.

People cannot blame me if I really want at least a child in the future. A nice and clever one like Adik. Or like Adleen. Having just finished my rotation in Obs and Gynae did sometimes make me scared of the pain a woman might need to go through during the childbirth, but on second thought, it scares me more that when I sat in the fertility clinic, I saw a few couples who have been trying to conceive for years, but never been able to get pregnant. And it makes me sad sitting in the gynae clinic to see people coming in, requesting to terminate a pregnancy.

Me, Kak Rabitah, Adik and Adleen

Anyway, that is not what I am trying to get to.

The point is I learn a lot from Adik or Adleen even when they are still so young, being just 7 and 11. And of course I learn from everyONE else around me too. I agree with Kak Rabitah that Adik is so truly magnificent, I can hardly wait to see how she is going to use the gift that Allah has given her. Although on the other hand, I think she grows up too fast and I want her to stay cute as she always is now, but hey, time flies really quick you know. May Allah always guide her to the right path. Who am I to be proud of her, but I always am.

This reminds me of a movie called 'Horton hears a who' - a person is still a person no matter how small they are. Kids can really give great impact on your life, trust me.

I love you, Adik. I love you. I love you.

TO DO LIST

Have you ever had a time when you have so much things to do at the back of your mind that you spent so much time working out what other tasks were ahead of you and which ones should you complete first? You spent time planning, yet, because there were just too many things in your mind, never were you able to complete those tasks.

I have had those moments. And sometimes I ended up updating this blog, and that is what I am currently doing. Hehe. Get to work Iffa!

Oh yes. Just wanting to share this: I am going back to Newcastle for good (before going back to Malaysia for good) this coming Friday! But Obs and Gynae assessment is freaking me out at this very moment.

So should I say this again. Doing things changes things. Not doing things leaves them exactly where they are. So go back to work Iffa! Or go to sleep and get a fresh start tomorrow morning.

FW: Etiquettes on E-mail Correspondences to JPA London

To All JPA Sponsored students,

We are now in evolving technological space where technology rules almost every aspect of our lives. Most notable and touching of all is the communication sector and, today, I would like to focus specifically on e-mail correspondences.

Daily, JPA London receives between 30 – 80 e-mails, plus dozens of snail mails. E-mails now are increasingly becoming ‘official’, just as mine now to you. However, we have received many e-mails with many shortcomings, with some lacking its status. If you would like us to read and treat your e-mail with its due respect, you must also present it with the proper protocols.

Although very simple, let us remind ourselves again on the above subject.

A. Title – Please put a title to your e-mail that represents the likely subject matter. With the number of e-mails received daily, we will ignore untitled e-mails for worry of virus, worms, etc.

B. Salutation – Please refer us with kinder words and not just “Hi” or Hi there”. Use prefixes such as Mr / En / Tuan / Puan / Cik / Ms / Miss / Sir or Madam. We DO NOT advocate the use of “abang” or “kakak” for its lack of official ness. If you are writing to private e-mails, then the choice is yours but jpalondon@btconnect.com and jpalondon@jpa.gov.my are official e-mail addresses. If you are unsure as to the officer-in-charge, just write “Dear Sir / Madam”. Please also refer us by our name as we normally do as Malaysians. Unless you are now a real true blue British to the tee, there is no Mr. Rahman or Ms. Zamani or Ms. Ariff in this office. We don’t have the practice of surnames in our culture. Don’t be rude.

C. Content – Please write in full and clear sentences. You can use either English or BM in your e-mail to us. What we will not tolerate is abbreviated words in e-mails, as what you’d normally use in SMSes. Examples are “r u” or “ x pe” or “b4” or “y ct n g x plaks nk cum 2 c u @ bs“ or “i 1 2 c u @ p g da”. We don’t understand these and we will not try to assume to understand it also. We will totally ignore, from now, e-mails written in such. So, please make sure you write clearly what you want us to read.

D. Signing-off – It doesn’t hurt a bit to say “Thank you” before you sign off. That’s good mannerism, which we believe you have been taught by your school / parents. Please give them some justice and honor. For those with family names, please also write your name as you normally write them in Malaysia as your records are written in the same. For example, it’s “Yap Ah Loy” not “Ah Loy, Yap ”. Please also write your IC, major and university so that we do not have to cross refer your name every time we receive your e-mail. With your e-mail address with names like “angels”, “death”, “Satan”, “handsome”, “baby”, etc, we need everyone to sign-off with their recognizable name.

PLEASE TAKE NOTE that we will forthwith put on low priority or will totally ignore e-mails that do not conform to the above minimum etiquette.

Thank you.

Kind regards,

Adib Rahman

JPA London

FP 2009: Application deadline has passed

Please note that the deadline for submitting applications for FP 2009 has now passed.

You did not submit an application and therefore will not be considered for a foundation training place in the national recruitment round.


Regards,

The UK Foundation Programme Office

-------------------------------------------------

I was happy not to apply for F1 job in the UK until I read this email. I have to say there was a rush of weird feeling inside me as I read through this short email. It feels like being rejected. But who cares.... I was the one who made that call. I finally made my decision. And I still am happy with that, honestly.

Yes, finally that was done. Thanks to everyone who discussed with me their thought during the process.

Start packing. I am going back, yeay!

INDECISIVE

Ok. So I still have not come up with proper answers for my foundation application. Instead I am concentrating on deciding whether I really want to work here if I get the place, in which case, I will - if I apply. But why bother answering those sickening questions if I really want to go back now. It is just being paranoid of the regret I might get later (if I dont apply at all) that makes me struggle with the questions. But, will it not be counted as an effort to fill up the form at least? Another example of the THIN lines in my life. Eeeeeee geramnye.

Family.

I got three pairs of new baju kurung (baju raya) from my mom in summer.
She said "takpelah banyok2 pon, next year nok buat sahhang (pakai) pergi keje kan".
A hint that she wanting me to work in Malaysia.

Papa asked me to buy a car for him and bring it back next year.
And I said "doh tu kalu pah keje sane guane? mestila pah nok gune kereta".
And he exchanged that look with my mom. Mama smiled. Hehehehe naughty me.
But again, he was expecting me to go back.

But after a long argument of the reasons why I will stay for a while, if I want to stay (which I was still 50-50 at that time), they seem to not have any preference.

When I told my younger brother who is now studying accounting in Warwick that I will put Coventry and warwick deanery as my first choice for the application, he said:
"Bagusla. Senang nanti kalu aku takdok duit"
Hehe, ade ke. That is definitely not the reason I want to go closer to you. Hahah, too bad.

I asked this matter to my sister who is studying A level in UCSI, looking forward to further her study in Pharmacy in the UK in the next 2 years. She said "keje la kat UK, tunggu aku gi sane". Haha, semua orang pon die nak suh duk ngan dia. Anak bongsu!

I chatted with my bro this afternoon.
iffa: bile mung nok gi umoh abg
iffa: bowok la web cam
iffa: rindu la ke mia
we: dok tau lg
we: eheh
we: td die pandai doh duk main wak lolok tgh mekap
we: pahtu die kate die comel
iffa: amboi
iffa: hahahaha
iffa: mia omel
we: klako la'
iffa: hih nih nok blk msia ni
iffa: oo baru ignat
iffa: nok tanye mung rse
iffa: baik aku kije sini dulu ke
iffa: balik kije msia terus
we: hurmm
we: aku dok reti ngat mende gini
we: huhu
we: opinion aku la
we: molek doh kalu mung balik pon
we: tp mung mitok spital trg la
we: buleh teman mama nga papa dumoh
we: heheh
Hmm...so there's a reason. And Damia is another.

That was family.

I just knew a friend who changed his mind to go back when he was the one person was really firm about wanting to work here.

Huh....

I just rang my brother in Warwick, as I think the only reason I will want to stay here is him. I am sure he will be fine here, it is not like I have to babysit him. I never did in fact. The way I talked to him just now really sounded like I want to go home, for sure. I just wanted him to acknowledge me not applying at all. "takpe eh kalu aku dok isi borang?". "aku nok wat guane kalu mung dok isi. gitu je la". Eee sedih la plak. Siap suruh kahwin kat UK haha. And he said he is going to force me going back to Malaysia if I later will be reluctant to go back for good.

That is my fear. What if I do not want to come back after all? I know I promise myself to give me only 2 years here, but what if I won't? I am very comfortable with UK system. Everything here is easy. Everyone here is nice. And I can still help with the dakwah here. There are so little chances of not living in wealth here. But is that all that I need? I am sure I will be fine wherever I am going to work. I am sure I will learn a lot working here for the first two years (not practical wise though - Malaysia is definitely better for hands-on experience!). But what if I do not want to come back after all?

Yes, I know it is me who will make the call. It's just that I still need a very valid reason for me to stay here, or otherwise. Please please please. Let it come across my mind.

p/s: Huhuh... Malasnye nak isi borang. In the end, tak apply jugak ni. Sorry to make this a big deal. I am just...thinking.

QUESTION 6

S - I found answering the questions for my foundation school application and not yet knowing where I am planning to work right after graduation is really stressing me up. Although I am more inclined of going back to home to start working as a busy house officer at time, who knows it might change. So I decided to fill it up anyway, you know, just in case I change my mind.

T - I have read through the questions and been to the workshop in Carlisle, but I am still struggling with the questions. I have sat in front of this computer a few times, trying to start answering at least one questions, but I haven't answered one properly yet.

A - I felt so stressed that out of no reasons, I am craving for karipap. SoI went out to Morrison's and bought sardine and flour so I can make them, and I also bought a new ice cream - a flavour that will soon be in my next shopping list, insyaAllah.

R - In reflection, I found out eating is a good way to cope with stress. Cooking is a good way too, in addition to my traditional way of coping with stress (some sort of DSH but it doesn't harm me at all). And more importantly to always try, and pray to Allah so that I will keep trying for the best. Convinced that whatever happen next is the best for you and everyone, but try your best, do whatever you have to do at time.

R - And finding out how I cope with stress will definitely help me as a foundation doctor later on, as I anticipate my next two years will be very busy and full of stress. I reckon if I work under stress I will become less a person of who I am, and I will not be a good doctor.

All the best to those applying for foundation school next year!

p/s This is not a good example of answering the question.

HAVE A MEANINGFUL FRIDAY

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you.
But you be honest anyway.

What you spent years building, someone could destroy it overnight.
But you build anyway.

If you find happiness, they maybe jealous.
But you be happy anyway.

The good you do today, people will often forget tomorrow.
But you do good anyway.

You see in the final analysis, it is between you and Allah.
It was never between you and them anyway.

Have a meaningful friday.

*credits to Madihah for the Friday text message.

WHITEHAVEN

I might have a thousand and one complaints I would want to tell, but having been here for the past 5 days so far, there are of course the good things of being here in Whitehaven. Well, I get an accommodation to stay so at least I do not have to travel much - only in weekends at least. Although the road to get here was terrible. Well maybe it was the horrible weather last Sunday as well that made driving so difficult. It was raining the whole journey once I passed Hexham. 50 mph and I felt the car was nearly blown away already. It took me 3 hours to get here. Thankfully the hospital was clearly signposted so I did not have troubles finding it in the town (it is actually out of town). Just imagine if they do not provide accommodation here...

And, the view outside my window is breathtaking. Well, it is very near to Lake District anyway - a doctor was saying its 25 mins drive to Keswick - I have been there and it's gorgeous but it won't be if I do not spend it with good friends of mine. By the way, the picture above is the view from my window which is not too nice because the window could not be open wide enough for the camera to go out. The room is quite small (which I do not really mind). I guess people who phoned me in the past 4 days know what I am not so keen about living here. I am not going to pour them into this entry. Except one thing, my room heater is not working and it is extremely cold here. I am now in fact listening to the wind whistling against the window. I have not been sleeping well since I got here. It is freeeeeezing.

It makes me homeNEWCASTLEsick (although the weather would be more or less the same, I suppose) and homeMALAYSIAsick every time I think about it. Well, at least I now have internet connection - that will keep me busy. I really need it particularly in these couple of weeks especially for my elective report and for the foundation school application. Stress!!!!

One more brownie point - the staff here are friendly, as those in Carlisle. Although I must say the last session today was daunting.

Talk about good things Iffa.

Dila my exhousemate has gone back to Malaysia for good. I remember upon arrival to Newcastle first time in 2004, I was sent to 41 Brighton Grove (where I used to live), and Dila was the one who opened the door for me. I seriously thought she was a senior, all the memories are coming back to me really clearly now. I think I will miss her really sweet text messages the most.

The former 196 + Athirah

To Dila, all the best in whatever you do. Keep being nice, warm and sweet. And keep doing the right thing even though it might be hard to do so. Please do not change for worse the next time I see you as I anticipate a really big battle for you to go against in Malaysia. Make sure you have someone to always remind you and guide you to the right path.

May Allah bless u (and me too).

SWEET HONEY

By Daniel Martin

Last updated at 1:36 AM on 08th October 2008

Click here for original news

Treating a burn with honey from the kitchen cupboard may promote faster healing than a surgical dressing. Honey has been found to be better at aiding burn recovery than standard treatments used by the NHS, a study claims.

Scientists pooled data from 19 trials involving more than 2,500 patients with a range of wounds. They found that honey was better at reducing the time it takes to recover from mild to moderate burns than some widely used gauze and film dressings. 'We're treating these results with caution, but it looks like honey can help speed up healing in some burns,' said chief researcher Dr Andrew Jull, from the University of Auckland, New Zealand.

How honey works is unclear, but it appears to fight infection and help the body remove dead tissue. The findings were published by the Cochrane Library, which provides systematic reviews of research studies. Honey was revered by the ancient Greeks and Egyptians as a medicinal agent for burns and sores. Scientists are also working on ways to use honey in the fight against superbug MRSA. Tests in Belfast City Hospital have shown that it can kill the bacteria in the lab. Clinical trials are planned to see on patients.

Sweet: Treating a burn with honey could promote healing faster than a surgical dressing

______________________________________________________

Both the holy Qur'an and Hadith refer to honey as a healer of disease.

'And thy Lord taught the bee to build its cells in hills, on trees and in (men's) habitations..... there issues from within their bodies a drink of varying colours, wherein is healing for mankind. Verily in this is a Sign for those who give thought'.(Translation of Quran 16:68-69)

In addition, the Prophet (PBUH) said:

'Honey is a remedy for every illness and the Qur'an is a remedy for all illness of the mind, therefore I recommend to you both remedies, the Qur'an and honey.'(Bukhari)

ME, MYSELF & CARLISLE

So I am about to finish the second week of my 1st senior rotation, which is the mental health rotation, or simply known as psychiatry. I am not feeling well at the moment, still having this unresolved cough for ages - it might be due to my 'unhealthy' eating, hahah I think lots of future doctors or even doctors are lacking this good drive!

Anyway, I was part of the crisis team today - what we did was we went to see people who are at high risk of committing suicide, had some chat and hopefully they will see positive things coming out of the future. It was not a good day. I could barely stop coughing during the consultations, and it got worse in the afternoon, so I just slept all the way to the different houses we went to. I pity the social worker who I went with. Hope I did not cause so much trouble just now.

I do not like mental health that much to be honest, but I think it has been alright here in Carlisle. Almost everything is well organised so far. Although I have not seen a lot of patients but I got the chance to see at least one with different presentations, which is good. Honestly, I feel so sorry for these people, and it struck me how actually sane and lucky I am. The care for them here is first class I would say. I wonder how the situation is back in Malaysia.

Hmm, back to me and Carlisle, I am given this accommodation here which looks more like a hotel room to me really. But despite all these good things happening here, I am longing to go back and work in Malaysia. That's it. That is my decision. (may be for now at least, I just kept changing my view every day to be frank, and it frightens me a lot that I keep thinking about it - it means the finals is very near!). And I can hardly wait for Fridays to come so I can go back to Newcastle, break the fast together with others who were also fasting then do the prayers together. I am so accustomed to these that it feels so weird to go through Ramadhan without them.

And tomorrow will be Friday, yeay! ***lama tak dapat friday text dari madihah*** you know, Friday is a special day for Muslims (as Saturday for Jews, and Sunday for Christians).

Just a food for thought. If you think you are unfortunate enough, read this news. I just spent 3 pounds for my bus day rider ticket yesterday, and 23 people would have actually died for it! I once heard there are lots of us who are really patient, but yet very little of us who are grateful to Him. May we all belong in both groups.